The eyebrow lift
by Temperance-is -a -virtue
Summary: It was a simple eyebrow lift. But it felt weird. Because she was looking at Zach...CZ! Idle purposes only! Awkward fluff.
1. the eyebrow lift

**Summary:** It was a simple eyebrow lift. But it still felt weird. Because she was looking at Zach Addy…CZ!

**Idle purposes only.**

This one shot sprung out of a vote I had on another site. Voters were asked to choose who Zach should kiss. Their options were a) Angela, b) Brennan, c) Cam and d) All of them. Cam won. I realize that a lot of Bones watchers are closet CZ shippers, even though we don't want anything to happen like at all.

It also sprung out of me thinking about sexy soldiers. And the fact that Zach was sort of a soldier. And I have a crush on Zach right now, so…

**Disclaimer:** If I owned it, Zach would work out more.

………………………………………………………………………………….

"Great," said Jack, "Now we'll never get anywhere."

Cam sighed and slunk further down in the car seat. She didn't want to say it out loud, but she would rather be soaking in a bath of rose scented water than be going to the deep rural areas with Hodgins, Angela and Zach in an old broken down van. But they had to meet with Seely and Dr. Brennan to investigate a scene that was wayyyyy past where Jesus lost his sandals, according to Angela. Even if it meant driving miles and miles in an old truck (the only transportation available) that had a serious engine problem.

"It says here that to keep your man constantly thinking of you, spray your perfume in his closet. Well that's stupid," Angela was reading some magazine that was trying it's best to be a rip-off of Cosmo.

"Angela, the truck won't move. I think that's more important than the dating habits of upper-middle class women?" Cam asked her, "Can't we come out, see if we can fix it?"

"This truck is very old," said Zach, "And with our combined limited knowledge of how to fix vehicles in general…"

"Yes, I see where you're going," said Cam, "But it's important that we reach the scene in time so we can get to work. We only have several hours of daylight left."

She heard a mumble from Angela but ignored it.

"Come on. We'll get dirty. It'll be fun." Cam got out of the truck and went to pop the trunk. Zach came out behind her, followed by Jack. Angela stayed inside.

"Okay," said Hodgins, "What do we have here?"

"A vehicular engine," Zach stated the obvious.

"I think we can all see that, Zach," Cam pointed, "That's what's usually under a hood."

"You three okay out there?' Angela shouted from her seat.

"Okay," said Cam, "What do we know about engines?"

"Induction, compression, power, exhaust…" said Jack.

"If it's the carburetor, I can help," said Zach, "I was taught everything about the carburetor from my uncle's Cadillac. It broke down a lot."

"Try that then. Hopefully that's it." Cam looked at the contraption. She had less of an idea how this thing ran than they did.

"What's this thing?" said Hodgins, and before she could say that it was obviously some cork used to stop the spillage of oil, a black fountain spewed up and drenched Zach's shirt in oil.

"Woops," Jack said as Zach looked mournfully at his shirt.

"I liked this shirt,"

"Sorry, dude. Just take it off," Jack capped the flow and wiped his hand in Zach's ruined shirt, "It's done for anyway," he justified.

"Alright." Zach looked at Cam a little nervously, "Uh, Dr. Saroyan, will you look away?"

"Zach, I assure you, you have nothing to interest me under that shirt," she said in her deadpan style. She crossed her hands over her chest and looked into the engine, trying to decipher the mystery that it was. The movement in the corner of her eye caused her to look over.

Her right eyebrow lifted in surprise.

It was almost an involuntary movement. One which was justified because never before this had Cam thought of the words Zach and bicep in the same sentence. Unless the words not and no were also involved. But there they were, arm muscles sprinkled with tiny brown freckles. They flexed as he started to tinker with the carburetor. It caused her to look further.

Nice shoulders, though they weren't the best she'd seen. Not a memorable chest, but on Zach it might as well be. Narrow hips that held up his jeans. Indentations that could be termed abdominal muscles. He was wearing his dog tag. Cam's mind flicked to all those novels she had read involving men coming home from war…

Whoa! Hang on a minute! This was ZACH she was talking about! Not Rayne Rodham who returned from Desert Storm to find the woman he loved married to another man and gave into passion and desire in a field of hay under the stars. This was Zach. _Dr. Addy_. The same person who went on and on for hours in the car talking about the life cycle of the hummingbird till Cam wanted to strangle him. But she had to admit…the surprise was pleasant.

She stared a bit longer at his arms and then at his face: it was the same face. He was staring at the battery like he was computing it. How could that face have any correlation with a hot body?

She almost physically slapped herself. ZACH DID _NOT_ HAVE A HOT BODY!

"Okay, try that now!" he hollered to Hodgins, who Cam just realized must have gone back into the truck. It shook Cam out of her crazy thoughts. Thank goodness.

The engine sputtered to life and Zach sent her a triumphant grin. Her eyes were at his shoulder, counting freckles.

"I should have learned more about the car from my uncle, but all I learned was the carburetor," he said, sounding like a robot as usual.

She noticed she was nodding stupidly and stopped.

He slammed the engine closed and walked around the truck, possibly to get a shirt. That was enough daydreaming for today. She watched him, clearing her throat and finally trusting herself to talk.

"Alright, now that the drama is over, let's get back on the road. We have to get there in an hour."

She turned and looked in the truck to see Angela peeking over her Cosmo watching Zach's progress.

Her right eyebrow was raised.

* * *

Are you squirming?

Or are you strangely intrigued?

Can you tell me about it in a review?

(big sunshiny grin)


	2. the butt touch

So I did another one. I'm that crazy. It's kind of drably. Enjoy.

………………………………………………………………………..

"Zach, you touched me on my butt."

"I-I honestly didn't mean to, Dr. Saroyan."

"Really? What was your hand doing all the way around my back then?"

Zach sighed, uncomfortable.

"The feathers,"

"Yes?"

"From the crime scene in the chicken coop?"

"What about them?"

"One had attached itself to your…skirt, Dr. Sayoyan."

"Oh,"

So he hadn't touched her butt on purpose. But he could have told her the feather was on her butt and not brush it off himself. Things like that made for a tense working environment, didn't he know?

"Alright then. Go clean off the rest of those feathers and call me when your have a weapon matching the wound."

"Yes, Dr. Saroyan."

"And I'm sorry," she absentmindedly ran her hand on his arm over his lab coat. Up then down. She almost created friction.

"D-Dr. Saroyan?"

"Yes Zach?"

"Stop that please."

"Stop what? Oh, I'm sorry!"

She let him go, folding her arms in embarrassment. He let go the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

"I'll go pluck the victim now."

"You do that."

They walked off in separate directions, walking a little too quickly.

…………………………………………………

I'm calling this awkward fluff. Because that was awkward.

I'm only sorry I couldn't make up another excuse to get Zach half naked again. Maybe next time.

_Next time????_

Review please…


	3. the lap dance

**Disclaimer:**

_I write it not_

_I produce it not_

_I direct it not_

_I profit from it not_

_I only enjoy it immensely..._

**A/N:** Zach is adorable!!! Also, this is set a little in the future, leading up to Angela and Hodgins' second wedding.

* * *

"Dr. Saroyan?" 

"Yes."

"May I bother you a moment?"

"I'm kinda busy, Zach."

"It's about Hodgins' bachelor party."

The file she was reading snapped closed, "I'm listening."

Zach sat down in the seat in front of her desk, looking like he was computing it, "I have food."

"Always important."

"I have music."

"I guess that's good too."

"But what should I get for entertainment?"

She looked at him. Why on earth would he ask _her_ that? "Are you serious?"

"Yes," he answered matter-of-factly.

She sighed and thought of all the things she heard were typically at one of those parties, having never been invited to one. She would have liked to suggest something intellectually stimulating, but from her limited knowledge of a bachelor party, she was sure that wouldn't go over well.

"Poker."

"Poke who?"

"No, the _game_ poker. You'll need games like that. And I hope you have...liquor and cigars."

"An exorbitant amount."

"Good. Um...dancers?"

His face twisted in confusion, "Dancers?"

"Yes. To do lap dances and things like that. Don't they do that at bachelor parties?"

"I've never been to one," Zach admitted, though it was obvious, "That is why I'm asking for suggestions."

"They do lap dances at bachelor parties I'm sure," Cam's mind went to every wedding movie she had ever watched, "Or strippers, but don't do that."

"What is a lap dance?" Zach asked.

Cam looked at him, honestly speechless. Now what was she supposed to tell him?

"Is it a type of pre-wedding ritual? How is it possible to dance with your lap? In order to _have_ a lap you have to be _seated_. Is a chair involved? Do these dancers do a special performance?"

She waited until the flood of Squinty questions slowed and was about to give an entirely precise answer, when he asked one more question.

"Is it possible for you to demonstrate the dance to me, Dr. Saroyan?"

The answer died in her throat her eyes widened. _What?_

"NO!"

"Oh, you don't know how to do it?" he asked, still on his left-brained inquisition.

"Well, I know how to do it..." she said stupidly.

"Can you show me, please?"

"NO, ZACH!" she squirmed in her seat, and despite her colouring, he could tell she was blushing.

"B-But why not?" he asked, confused by her discomfort, "Are you uncomfortable having people see you dance? If that is the case I honestly won't tell anyone."

Cam folded her arms over her chest, in obvious discomfort. _Had he no idea what he was saying?_

"I'm very busy, Zach. You have to go."

"Okay..." he got up slowly.

"A little faster please!"

"Okay, okay, I'm leaving!"

Zach was walking through the lab, the scene playing over in his mind, when he bumped into Booth and Angela.

"Hey, Zach. You okay?" Angela asked.

"Yeah, you look like you just saw something in a beaker you couldn't identify," Booth joked.

"Um..." he looked at them, "Maybe you can explain it to me. I was talking to Dr. Saroyan about Hodgins' bachelor party."

"Uh-huh..." they both said.

"And the subject of lap dances surfaced."

"You were talking lap dances with Cam?" Booth asked, smiling. Angela was trying not to giggle.

"Yes. And I really don't understand how a person can dance in a seated position, so I asked her to demonstrate the dance to me. She suddenly got very uncomfortable..."

He was interrupted by Booth's roar of laughter.

"_You __asked __Cam to give you a lap dance_" Angela exclaimed, in a fit of giggles.

"Wait a minute, did you say _give_ me a lap dance?" Zach was even more confused, "A lap dance is something to be received?"

"Hell yeah!" Booth shrieked with laughter.

Zach suddenly realised that he may have made a serious error, "Can you explain..."

Trying to control her giggles, Angela leaned closer to Zach's ear and whispered.

Zach gasped. As Angela continued to whisper, his eyes grew larger and larger.

"Please excuse me," he said, speeding down the hallway to Cam's office to apologize, leaving Angela and Booth in fits of laughter.

* * *

So, how evil am I? Don't worry, you can tell me. In a review. 

I know I know. Why did he ask her? Let's just say he was asking everybody and leave it at that, okay? I'm not perfect. And I have no idea of what a bachelor party is, so I may be wrong about something.

Stop ignoring the button. He's crying out for attention.


	4. the lights out

OMG kookie, you are so right! You know I would learn to do it just for that specific purpose...

So this is a continuation of the previous one, and I think you'll find it very hilarious. I sure do!

* * *

She heard his shoes before she saw him, blowing in like a hurricane.

"Dr. Saroyan! Dr. Saroyan I am so sorry!" he flew around to her side of the desk and stood in front of her.

"Zach." Hadn't he embarrassed her enough for one day? She stood up and backed away a little.

"I honestly had no idea what a lap dance was Dr. Saroyan. I just asked Angela and Agent Booth to explain it to me and... There was nothing suggestive intended when I asked you to... I'm soooo sorry."

"Apology accepted, Zach," even _if_ she was still blushing.

Was he getting closer? She couldn't tell. She backed up anyway.

"I would never intentionally have asked you something like that Dr. Saroyan. I mean, you are my boss! That would be very, very inappropriate."

"I know Zach. I realise that you didn't..."

The lights overhead flickered and went out. For the two seconds it was gone Cam felt her usual loss of control. With a little scream, she grabbed blindly for something to hold onto. It so happened the first thing she found was Zach's shirt.

"Are you afraid of the dark, Dr. Saroyan?" he asked as the lights flickered back on. She let go and smoothed down the front of Zach's now rumpled shirt.

"Um, no. I only have a slight...aaaah!"

The lights flickered again and she grabbed on again. Okay, this was getting embarrassing now.

She let him go, even though the lights were still not on yet. She felt a shiver run down her spine and tried to ignore it.

"Dr. Saroyan, are you okay?"

"Y-Yes?"

"Are you sure?"

The lights flickered back on and she breathed a sigh of relief. Good. She looked over at Zach, ready to send him to see what the problem was. But then she saw the smile on his face.

"Zach, are you laughing at me?"

"No." he said, obviously trying not to laugh.

"I am not afraid of the dark, you hear me? I don't have a problem with the dark; I just hate the sudden loss of light. Now go find out what...ahh!"

The lights went of again and Cam grabbed on to Zach...again. Zach couldn't help but laugh now.

"Zach, you laugh at me and I'll fire you so fast..."

"Sorry." He cleared his throat.

"Shouldn't it be on again by now?" she wasn't at all comfortable holding on to Zach. But since he was the most convenient source of sensory stimulation she always needed when the light went out she continued to cling on.

"It may be gone for good now," said Zach. She tightened her grip just thinking about it.

"I can't see anything, but, do you feel like there is somebody in here?" her fear- correction, _hatred_- of the dark may have been playing tricks on her, but she definitely felt like somebody was by the door. And coming closer. "Hello?'

Nobody answered.

"Dr. Saroyan you're cutting off my air supply," said Zach. Indeed, she was basically squeezing him now, like the big fluffy brown teddy bear that lived in the back of her closet.

"Sorry. Hey! I know you're in here! Seely if that's you I swear I'm gonna..."

"Rawr!"

"AAAAAAAAAHHH!"

The lights turned on right as Seely poked Cam in her sides, scaring her and making her jump.

"Seely! You're such a child! I knew it was you!"

"Dr. Saroyan, could you get off me please?"

"Um, sorry Zach," she had bumped him when she had jumped in fright, sending him back and onto her desk and her falling into his lap. She got up, smoothed her skirt suit and slapped Seely on the arm. Seely was laughing like a hyena.

"I see Zach finally got you in his lap!" said Seely in the middle of a laugh.

"Shut up! I'm sorry Zach. Now do you know what happened?"

As Seely began to explain what had happened to the light Cam stole a glance over at Zach. He was looking at his shoes, buttoning back the buttons she had pulled open when she was clutching his shirt. And he was blushing.

Well, so was she.

* * *

I'm laughing. That means you must be too. I seriously would like to see somebody scare Cam like that on the show. Maybe Zach could help? (Evil naughty grin)

The button's laughing with us! Press him and you'll hear!


	5. the PSP fight

Thanks for the reviews, you guys!

So this signals the end of my Writer's Block that was brought on by the reflection paper I was writing for Developmental Psychology class. Hopefully it won't return with the paper I have due for Caribbean Society. Keep your fingers crossed.

This one is kinda weird. Zach is displaying similar behaviour to my cousin. It may be OOC. Hope you like it anyway. 

"Give it back!"

"No, Zach! You're addicted. You need help."

"I do not have an addiction to video games. I use it to listen to whale mating calls."

"While playing Need for Speed?"

"N-No! That's my cousin."

"Your cousin's name is Zach Addy?"

"Yes?"

"I'm taking this!"

"No, Dr. Saroyan! Please!"

Zach lunged for the Play Station Portable that Cam had taken away from him. She held it high but because he was taller, he grabbed it easily, turned it on and started a new game.

"Zach!" there was not much more that Camille Saroyan hated in this world than losing. But this wasn't some silly game with her sister. This was the fight to save a well needed employee from an addiction. She reached forward, pulling the earphones from his ear and grabbing the game again.

"You want me to threaten me with your job?" she asked with a bite in her voice.

"Homeland Security has been requesting me for the last four months," he said as if he didn't care.

Foiled. But she knew how much he liked it here.

"Zach, you and I both know that if I fired you right now you would be begging me for your job back. So put the game console down and get to work."

"I'm still waiting on the results from the cross referece for the weapon that killed the victim."

"Zach, you need to stop playing that game!"

"No."

"What?"

"I said no." he took the earphones back and plugged them in his ear. She fumed. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

"Gimme that!" she yanked it out of his hand and put it down in her blouse. Ha ha. He'd never go in there for it. But as she was backing away to lock it in her desk, Zach surprised her by holding on to her blouse and pulling it out of the waistband of her skirt, which made the portable game fall. He caught it before it reached the ground and continued the game he had paused.

_What?_ It was not supposed to go that way! It was almost a sure thing that he would give up. He was more addicted that she thought he was!

"Zach, you're fired!" she shouted.

Not even a response.

What was she going to do? With Angela and Hodgins all over each other every minute of the day and Seeley all wrapped up in his partner, and she all wrapped up in him in return, Cam needed at least one squint she could count on to be fully dedicated to the job. And that had always been Zach. Now he was in love with a glorified Game Boy. She had to get him back on track.

She made an attempt to pull it out of his hands, but he held on with all his strength. Okay now she was gonna get ugly. She raised her foot and slammed it down on his. Taking advantage of his wince of pain, she grabbed the PSP and ran with it. She gasped as two hands grabbed her by the waist, stopping her progress, and the right one grabbed the game back.

"This is getting out of hand!" she exclaimed, "Zach can't you see you're hooked on this thing!"

"I don't care!" he shouted, "It increases hand eye coordination and sharpens your focus."

"And gives you Carpal Tunnel and makes you so addicted to it you can't function properly! Zach, I'm only trying to help you!"

He only loaded a new game from his pocket in response.

"You should go check on the computer to see if it has the results of the cross reference yet," she said, trying to pull him out of the bloody murder of the war game he was playing.

"Going," he turned and bumped into several things on his way to his desk.

"ZACH PUT THE DAMN GAME DOWN!"

"No."

"Oh, I swear to God!" she marched up to him and pushed him against the wall trapping him against it. Her palm kept him against the wall and her intense stare made sure he wouldn't fight back. She ignored his look of shock as she grabbed the game from him for the umpteenth time.

Her voice dropped to a whisper, "I swear Zach, you try to take this back and I'll smash it into smithereens. And then just to top it off, maybe I'd just fire you. Would you like that Zach?"

His brown eyes were still wide in shock, "No, Dr. Saroyan, I wouldn't."

"Good. Now be a good boy and go do your job."

"Okay," he nodded slowly.

"Am I interrupting something?"

Cam turned around to see Dr. Brennan staring at them. Cam folded her hands, the PSP in the hand further from Zach, "No. I just had to fight him to get this stupid game away."

"No small feat, I can guess."

"Not at all. Zach, go check the computer."

He was still leaning against the wall, staring into space.

"Zach!"

"Going," he walked out the room.

"He's going to remember that for a while," Dr. Brennan mumbled, but Cam heard her.

"Remember what?"

Dr. Brennan looked like she was holding back a smile, "Huh? I didn't say anything. Not a thing…"

 Review. Even if it is to tell me I've lost it. I mean it. Don't hold back.


	6. the icing

**Disclaimer:** I don't own it.

"I think I will officially crown you the best person I have ever met in my life."

"Above Booth? I'm honoured."

Zach couldn't help it. If Hodgins wasn't already his best friend, he would become his best friend right this minute. Because he had asked the cook at the mansion to make her world famous, lick the platter and the spoon, Heaven on Earth, kill your mother over, melt in your mouth Chocolate Dream Cake for Zach. Zach himself had been begging her to make one for him for the last three years. But she didn't just make it everyday. This cake was much too special to make more than a few times a decade.

Zach licked his lips, looked at the large brown cake hungrily, and reached out a finger to take off a bit of the icing. But then he stopped.

"I want to keep this all to myself."

"As you should," said Hodgins, "That cake cost me a lot of groveling."

"But that would be unfair. What if somebody goes into the break room and sees the cake?"

"Then they would have to stew in their envy Zach. What are you going to do, cut it up and share it?"

The look on Zach's face confirmed it.

"Oh, man. You're just full of conscience aren't you?"

"I'll go into the break room to cut this up. Don't worry, I won't give everybody. Just Dr. Brennan, Dr. Saroyan and Angela. And Booth. And you. Then I'll have a slice. And that will be it, I'll carry home the rest."

"Small slices, please?" said Hodgins, finding it hard to believe that he knew somebody who would share a Chocolate Dream Cake.

Zach turned towards his destination, not seeing the female obstacle in his path till it was too late.

CRASH.

After regaining his balance, he lowered the cake to see Dr. Saroyan, her blouse covered in brown icing.

Woops.

"Zach!" she hollered, "I won't even ask why you have a large cake in my lab. I'll just tell you, next time, WATCH WHERE I'M GOING!"

"S-sorry," he put the cake down and used his hand to wipe the icing off, only to make the situation worse.

"Zach, stop! You're making it worse!"

"I can see that!" he tried again and ended up smearing the icing on her bare skin above her top button. She screamed in anger.

"Zach!"

"I'm so sorry!"

"Just leave it!"

"But it's coming off. See?"

"No it's not! You're rubbing it in!"

"Sorry!"

"Stop saying sorry!"

"So- I apologize."

He made one last attempt to get some of the icing off her chest, but she swatted his hand away.

"Zach, if you don't stop touching my breasts, I'm going to scream sexual harassment!"

"What?" Zach's eyebrows rose in shock.

She stormed off before he could inquire more.

He looked at the partially squashed cake and then at Hodgins to see how angry he was.

But to his surprise, Hodgins had a wide grin on his face.

"Man. Was that as fun for you as it was for me?" he asked.

"I-I did not enjoy that," Zach stuttered. He picked up the cake and headed for the break room.

This just came to me as I read someone's review. They wanted Hodgins, and I delivered. I can't remember who you are, but thanks for the inspiration! The cake part is because I'm hungry.

Review, my minions! Review!!!


	7. the concert tickets

Whoops! I did it again! My CZ shipping brain took over my idle fingers and caused me to type another awkwardly fluffy fanfic! Yeah, I'm crazy.

May be OOC in terms of Cam, but who _isn't_ exited when they get free stuff?

**Disclaimer:** _'__Don Corleone, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your home on the wedding day of your daughter. And may their first child be a masculine child.'_ Oh! I was supposed to use the opportunity to disown Bones? Sorry.(Clears throat) _'Don Hansen, I am honoured and grateful that you have invited me to use my shippy brain to mess with your characters. And may your show continue to have good viewership.'_ I don't own Bones or The Godfather.

…………………………………………………………………….

"So the most likely weapon used to kill Marisay Hernandez was a knife with a distinct nick in the blade shaped almost like a crescent, right?' Dr. Brennan asked Zach.

Zach nodded

"Good. So we can look for that as the murder weapon and… Dr. Saroyan, are you listening?"

Everybody turned to look at Cam who was seated, her hand at her jaw and her eyes full of gloom.

"Mm? Mm-hmm." She waved her hand to indicate that they should continue.

"Cam, are you okay?" Angela asked.

"No. I'm depressed."

"Oh, that's too bad. Well, back to the vic…"

"Wanna talk about it?" Seeley cut Dr. Brennan off.

"Nah. It's just…it's okay."

"Alright. Let's get back to the murder weapon…"

"Come on. It will help you feel better," now Angela cut Dr. Brennan off.

"Well…it's just that my favourite singer is giving a special one night only concert and I really wanted to go. But when I went to buy them, they were already sold out. And I won't be able to see her," the last word came out on a whiny sob and her lips pouted.

"Oh, I'm sorry," said Angela.

"It's just that I wanted to go."

"That's too bad," Booth said in a soothing voice.

"Dr. Saroyan, does you favourite singer happen to be Mariah Carey?"

Cam looked up at Zach, "Yeah. How did you know?"

"I actually didn't. My cousin is giving away tickets that he has to her show."

Cam perked up immediately.

"Does he still have them? Would he give them to me? Because I _really really really_…"

"He gave them to me," Zach said.

"What! You have the tickets?!" Cam was out of her seat now.

Zach reached into his lab coat pocket and took out two official-looking strips of paper.

"You took the tickets?" Seeley asked, "_Why?_"

"Hey man, a lot of guys like Mariah. She has very nice…songs," Jack spoke up.

"Yeah right, more like nice stems," Angela mumbled.

"I'm not really her fan," Zach corrected, "He just told me to ask around if anybody else would want them."

Cam flew over to where Zach stood.

"OH, ZACK YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME THEM OR AT LEAST ONE PLEASE PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING WHATEVER YOU WANT JUST PLEASE GIVE ME ONE OF THE TICKETS I HAVE TO SEE HER!"

"Whoa," said Booth.

"Somebody really likes Mariah!" Angela chucked.

"While we waste time, Marisay's murder remains unsolved, you know," Brennan pointed out.

"CAN YOU LET ME HAVE ONE PLEASE ZACH I'LL DO ANYTHING PLEASE!"

"Uhh…" Zach looked slightly scared, "You can take them Dr. Saroyan. I don't need them."

"AAAH! Thank you thank you thank you!" she grabbed the tickets out of Zach's hand, wound her arms around his neck and planted a long, loud kiss on him.

"Thank you! I'm going to see Mariah! Gosh Zach, you don't know how much this _means_ to me! Thank you so much!"

She took off in the direction of her office, singing 'Emotions' loudly.

Everybody present had their eyes popping out of their heads.

"Did she just…" Jack jerked his thumb in the direction Cam had gone.

"Are you alright, Zach?" Dr. Brennan asked.

"I-I think I need to sit down," Zach felt for the chair behind him and plopped into it, his face expressionless.

"Well! I think we should get back to Marisay now," said Booth.

"Forget Marisay!" Dr. Brennan exclaimed, "Dr. Saroyan just kissed Zach!"

Cam came back, considerably more sober.

"I, uh… that didn't come out right. I didn't mean to…"

"Is something going on between you two?" Angela grinned impishly.

………………………………

Okay, that came out of me sitting in my tutorial being bored to death by the girls doing their graded presentation. I sat there thinking, "Is there any, and I mean _any,_ situation where Cam would accidentally kiss Zach?" This was my answer I guess. Kind of based on an episode of Family Matters I watched last evening.

So, leave a review now. Or throw up. Whatever floats your boat.


	8. the dinner table

What's worst than awkward fluff? Public embarrassment _and_ awkward fluff! Woo hoo!

**Disclaimer: **If only...then I could get to see this scene for real...

...

Cam sat at the reserved table waiting for her date, Austin, to arrive. He was a fellow pathologist and they had met at a conference months before. Now that he was in town he had called her to ask her out. She was looking forward to seeing him again. The clinging, knee length white dress she had on that was currently cutting off her circulation definitely communicated that. She even left her hair down in waves around her face and wore a pair of impossibly high heels. Austin was definitely worth it.

"Hi, Dr. Saroyan."

Cam looked up to see Zach.

"Hey, Zach. What are you doing here?"

"I have a date. Do you know the new Paleontology intern?"

"Nerissa? You have a date with Nerissa?"

"Yes," Zach said in his robot drone, like he didn't know the significance of getting a date with Nerissa when all the interns and some of the doctors were vying for the same honour.

"Wow. Is she here yet?"

"No."

She patted the place in front of her, "Come. Keep me company till our dates arrive."

He sat down, "You look very nice, Dr. Saroyan."

"Thank you Zach. That is some case we're working on, isn't it?"

"Yes it is. It is more interesting because of the bite marks on the victim. I still am not convinced that..."

"Zach, how many times must I tell you and Hodgins that there are no such things as Chupacabras?"

"Nobody knows for certain, Dr. Saroyan."

"There is no concrete evidence to say that there are any."

"No. But their existence could explain what exactly had eaten Mark Ferguson after he was shot."

"It could just as well be a deformed dog or something, Zach."

"That is a valid explanation, Dr. Saroyan, but..." he cut himself off, "Um...Don't feel offended, but I really hate that necklace."

"What?" Cam touched the red beaded necklace she had thought looked perfect with the red shoes she was wearing.

"I-I'm sorry, Dr. Saroyan. I shouldn't have..."

"No, tell me. What about it?"

"Um..." Zach looked slightly uncomfortable, "The beads and the dress are both very bold. Together, they try to fight for dominance of the outfit. It would be best to eliminate one."

_Hmm. Zach Addy, wardrobe designer_, Cam thought as she fingered the clasp of the necklace open.

"Thank you, Zach for your honest- dammit."

She had tugged on the necklace too hard and it popped, sending beads across the table and onto the floor.

"Don't worry, I'll pick them up," she said as Zach motioned to pick up the beads. She got down on her hands and knees and picked up the beads. To get to some of them, she had to crawl under the table.

Dr. Saroyan was under the table and several things that shouldn't have crossed Zach's mind crossed it anyway. The possibility of those things happening were very slim. Actually they were nonexistent. But that didn't stop his heart from racing as he heard her shuffle underneath the table.

"Hold these for me," Dr. Saroyan's hand came up from under the table, full of beads. He took them from her and put them in a plate in front of him, trying to dismiss the fact that her hand came up from under the table in his lap.

"Um, Dr. Saroyan?"

"Yes Zach."

"Does your date have spiky black hair, a large build, green eyes and a goatee?"

"He's here?"

Austin walked up to the table, surprised to see some geeky-looking guy where his date was supposed to be.

"Who the hell are you?" he asked the geek.

"I'm Zach. Nice to meet you."

"Where's Cam?"

Zach felt said person's hand on his knee, and he supposed she had absentmindedly rested her hand there while taking up more beads. But his blood pressure elevated regardless.

"Uh..." The hand on Zach's leg moved. _What was she doing under there? _"She..."

"Zach, what are you doing over here? Our table's over there," said Nerissa as she came walking over.

"I know."

"Alright, moron, where's Cam?" asked Austin again.

"Cam? As in Dr. Saroyan? That's Zach's boss," Nerissa added.

"Is there a problem?" the maitre d' came over. By now the whole restaurant was looking on.

"No," said Zach.

"Of course there's a problem! Where's my date?!" Austin exclaimed.

The hand on his thigh shifted again, making Zach jump in his chair in surprise. Which made Cam jump under the table. Which made her hit her head on the underside of the table. Which sent the table two centimetres into the air.

"Ow!" her voice came from under the table.

Austin, Nerissa, the maitre d' and the patrons of the restaurant all looked at the table in surprise.

"She is under the table," said Zach. Austin and Nerissa had similar looks of confusion on their faces.

Then Cam crawled from under the table.

"My necklace broke," Cam started explaining immediately, still on her knees, "I was taking them up and some rolled under the table," she held up the beads as evidence.

"Oh," said Austin and Nerissa simultaneously. The maitre d' was smiling broadly.

"B-Bye Dr. Saroyan," said Zach as Nerissa grabbed him by the hand an drew him to their table.

"Bye Zach. Have a good time," realizing she was still on the floor, Cam got up and turned her attention to Austin.

"So," she said, "How have you been?"

...

I'm eeevil! I'm eeevil! I'm evil, evil, eeevil!

Alright. Okay. I know. THAT would neeeeever happen! At least not outside my twisted mind.

Have I appeased anyone? Have I redirected anyone's lunch? Tell me! Review!


	9. the wet floor

1"Dr. Saroyan won't approve of this."

"That's why we won't tell her isn't it?"

Zach and Jack were around a sink in the lab that they were using to fill water balloons. They were going to be used in the Water War the two had planned for that evening after work. All the employees of the Medico-Legal lab were invited, except Dr. Saroyan of course.

"Did Dr. Lee get the water guns?" Zach asked Jack. He was filling the balloons and Jack was tying them.

"Yeah. She got little ones, big pistol ones and Super Soakers."

"What will we do if we can't use the gym?"

"We'll just move the party to the mansion. It's the best place anyway. You're less likely to slip and break something on the mansion grounds."

"Hey you two!"

Zach jumped at Angela's high-pitched greeting, sending a stream of water into the air and onto the floor.

"Whoa! Careful Zach. You two almost done?" Angela asked.

"No. How about the buckets of water?" Jack asked her.

"All full. But you two need to hurry. Cam's back from lunch."

"Crap! Dude come on, fill faster!" Jack tied the balloon in his hand and flung it in the bucket they were using to store the filled balloons.

"I'll go help Bren with the ice," Angela said and took off.

Jack and Zach worked as fast as they could Zach turning the water pressure up so he could fill them in less time. They were going well until...

"What is going on here?"

Cam was coming towards them. There was no way they could hide. Zach had a half full balloon in his hand and Jack was standing beside a large container of them. She came walking up to them looking like the mother of two rude children ready to dish out punishment.

"Did I hear right?! Are you two planning a Water War for this evening?! Are you completely crazy?!"

"No. Who told you?" Zach asked.

"Dr. Lawson told me Zach, after I asked why he had a large cylinder of water in his office! You can't plan a- whoooooaaaaa!"

Suddenly, Dr. Saroyan went sliding forward in the water Zach had spilled on the floor. She would have hit the ground hard if she didn't reach out and grab Zach around the neck. She slammed into him, knocking him back into the sink

"Whoops," said Jack.

"That is one reason you can't have a Water War! It can cause accidents! You two should know that."

"We can go to Jack's house," Zach said.

"As long as it's not in my lab, I don't give a damn," she let go of Zach and made to walk away, "but as for in here, I'd rather you two be working on the ca-aaase!"

Once again Dr. Saroyan went down, clinging to Zach's shirt. He pulled her up and set her on her feet.

"Thank you Zach. Now, stop this and get back to work. Dr. Brennan probably needs you to do something in terms of the case."

"Dr. Brennan's setting ice cubes for the Water War," Jack pointed out, trying hard to hide the smile on his face as he watched the two others.

"You have to kidding me. Have you all lost your marbles? You can't play in the la-aaaaah!"

She slipped- again- and grabbed for Zach- again. But this time Zach slipped too and the pair of them collided with the floor in a crumpled pile.

"Ow!" they said in unison.

"Wow. The floor is especially slippery today isn't it?" Jack laughed.

"Zach get off of me!" Dr. Saroyan exclaimed.

"Ow! Your heel cut me!'

"Sorry."

They got up and straightened their clothes, looking embarrassed.

"Now," said Cam with a boom of authority, "You two stop filling balloons and go do something constructive. And mop up that water." She walked away.

"Dude," Jack's laugh came bubbling out, "I think she slid on purpose that second time!"

Zach's brows came together, "Why would she slide on purpose?'

Jack gave him a mischievous look, "I dunno. You tell me."


	10. the wet tshirt

1"Where are we going?"

"What do you mean?"

"We're not going to Hodgins' house are we?"

Seeley looked over at Cam and smiled, "Yes."

"Seeley! They don't want me over there!"

"That's only because they think you don't want to play. But they don't know that you love playing Water War. Lucky for you I know."

Cam folded her arms. It was true. She loved Water War. But she was sure the lab workers didn't need her intruding on their fun. She could bet that her presence would only serve to dampen the game.

They reached the mansion and as they drove up it was obvious that there was some puerile level of fun going on. Brightly coloured rubber littered the lawn and all over the place lab techs, doctors and interns ran each other down with water guns, balloons and buckets, some still in their work clothes. Some donned bathing suits.

"Come on!" Seeley parked willy-nilly beside the other willy-nilly parked cars and ran out. Cam was stranded.

"Nuts," she got out and saw her best bet was to go into the house and seek refuge. She knocked on the door and it opened.

And out came a bucket-load of water.

As the cold water dripped down her, she pushed her bangs back so she could see which insubordinate employee threw the water on her.

"Dr. Brennan!"

There stood Dr. Brennan in a blue bikini with Zach standing beside her, a pink bucket in her hand. Her eyes were wide with shock and Zach's bottom jaw was on the wet tiled floor.

"Sorry! I thought it was Booth!" said Dr. Brennan, "Where did he go?"

"Around the back," she informed and Dr. Brennan took off. Zach stood there.

"What are you staring at?" Cam looked down where Zach was looking and saw for herself.

Her t-shirt was stuck to her chest in a very provocative way, made even worse by the fact that the shirt was white and basically see-through now that it was wet and she had gone braless this morning.

"ZACH!"

"Huh?"

"Stop staring at my breasts and get me a towel!"

He nodded and took off.

She buttoned up her jacket and put her wet hands on her face to cool it. She just gave Zach his own personal wet t-shirt contest!

Before she could wonder what kind of score she got, Jack climbed the stairs toward her.

"You're gonna need this," he said, putting a water gun in her hand.


	11. the poolside

1She hadn't planned to stay. But now she had not only a gun, but she had stolen Dr. Brennan's bucket and loaded it with balloons and ice. She was flinging balloons like crazy at the archaeologists who had decided to gang up. Angela attacked her with a Super Soaker and Brennan had found the hose and sprinkler. By this time she was glad Angela had insisted she change into a red shorts bikini because unlike Seeley her clothes would at least be a bit dry to go back home. He was being chased by Dr. Brennan with the sprinkler.

She ran to the pool side in time to see Dr. Lee push Zach into the pool. Cam laughed, as did several people near her. then Dr. Marston dunked her with a bucket of water and she got distracted trying to get him back.

"Cam!"

She turned at the sound of her name and saw Angela running towards her with the Super Soaker. Before she could back away, Angela held her by the wrist.

"I'm not gonna soak you, silly! I got something to show you. Hey Bren you come too."

Angela grabbed both their hands and led them to the pool, a small distance from where Dr. Lee stood watching Zach get out of the pool. She was laughing and smiling and so was Zach.

"What? I don't see what we're supposed to be looking at," said Dr. Brennan.

"You're kidding. Don't you see? It's Kendra and Zach! They so like each other!" Angela exclaimed.

"As in Dr. Lee?" Cam asked.

"Yes!"

Cam looked at the two of them and had to admit, there was something there.

"She really soaked him," Cam commented.

"Wait. Is he taking off his shirt?" Dr. Brennan sounded shocked.

Sure enough, Zach pulled his soaking shirt over his head. Dr. Lee looked very pleased.

"Ooh. Remember the last time that happened, Cam?" Angela asked her, "Man I still can't believe Zach has a hot body."

"It isn't all that," Cam protested, though she had been and still was very shocked.

"Wow..." it escaped from Dr. Brennan, "I mean, uh..."

"Yeah. Can you believe all that was hiding under that lab coat this whole time? And Cam, you're lying. You were totally checking him out."

"I WAS NOT!" Cam protested.

"Admittedly, he isn't as well developed as say, Booth, or maybe Jack. But he has a _chest! _Zach has a _chest_...I'm shocked," said Dr. Brennan.

"And I see a little ab action too," Cam let slip. Then she realized her mistake and covered her mouth.

"Aha! Knew it!" Angela shouted, "And where the hell did you see Jack's body?"

"Where the hell was I when you two were looking at Zach shirtless?" Dr. Brennan countered.

"Never mind that. Isn't Zach scrumptious?"

Cam glared at her, "I cannot believe you just said that."

Brennan shrugged, "I tend to agree."

"What?"

"Oh come on. Admit it. Zach's hot," Angela coaxed.

"No."

Angela grinned impishly, "_Look_ at the abs, Cam."

"I wonder how he'd look if he worked out more..." Brennan wondered aloud.

"Zach is not hot."

"Yes he is."

"I cannot _believe_ what I'm hearing."

The three of them turned to see Seeley smiling at them. They had been caught.

"How much of that did you hear?" Cam asked him.

"Everything."

"We were just making an observation, Booth. We're not serious," said Dr. Brennan.

"You three were checking out Zach! I'm appalled!" he looked at them as if he were a disappointed schoolteacher with his worst students.

"So? He's hot!" Angela exclaimed.

"Hi, guys."

The presence of the very person they were talking about beside them caused the three women to let out a unified shriek of shock.

"Well back to the game!"

"Where's my bucket?"

"Excuse me. People to soak. Bye!"

They took off in three different directions.

"What was about?" Zach asked Seeley.

"Zach, you wouldn't believe me if I told you," Seeley answered.


	12. the coffee

Hi everybody! I'm currently under exam stress, but I resurfaced and decided to type some CZ fluffy awkwardness. I hope you'll enjoy them!

**Disclaimer:** Not in a million years.

* * *

"I need that microscope Zach."

Zach looked up from his examination of some lint looking particles he had found on the victim. He saw Dr. Saroyan standing there.

"Why?"

"All of the others are occupied."

Zach's brows came together, "Um...why can't you ask somebody else?"

"I'm asking you first. But I need the microscope now."

"I'm using it."

"But..."

"You're welcome to wait till I'm finished using it, Dr. Saroyan. I won't be very long."

Dr. Saroyan sighed in defeat. She sat on the stool in front of him and waited.

Then a really delicious smell hit her nostrils. She looked down and saw the source; a purple and sky blue mug that was at Zach's elbow.

"What are you drinking?" she asked him.

"Coffee," he supplied, "It's a special blend."

"Oh," it smelled heavenly. She inhaled, and a really bad thought came to her. No she couldn't just take up Zach's coffee! That was wrong. But it smelled so nice...

"Where did you get it?" she asked.

"Dr. Lee gave it to me," he answered.

What was she his girlfriend now? Cam looked to see if he was fully concentrated on the slide he was looking at (and _duh_ he was) before she took up the cup and put it to her lips. She took a sip and immediately felt scandalous.

"Are you drinking my coffee?" Zach asked, not even looking up from the microscope.

"Sorry," she put the cup back down, "it tastes great."

"Yes," he still hadn't looked up, "Try the muffin."

She was confused, "What muffin?"

Finally looked up and at the table, which was muffin-less.

He sighed, "Angela!"

Angela came up to them, her cheeks padded with what Cam could guess was Zach's muffin.

"Sthowy," she said through the muffin.

* * *

Leave me a review that I can read when I dig myself out of this exam stress again. Bye!


	13. the counter

1Her headphones were on her ears and her I-Pod was on full blast. Cam was rocking out to the tunes on her I-Pod.

"When I'm with you, you mess my cool...dah, dah, dah, dah...you don't feel the way I do!" she sang along, swishing her hips and banging her head to the music. As she sang, she packed the box of personal items she had taken off the victim; a wallet, a pocket knife, and a heavy briefcase that had been in his hand when he had been found.

"When I'm with you, my dreams come true, but you're not who I thought you were and so we're...Ah!"

She jumped as she felt a tap on her shoulder, releasing the box with the heavy briefcase. It landed on her foot.

"Ow, ow, ow! ZACH!" she turned to the person who had tapped her, "MY FOOT!"

"I'm sorry, Dr. Saroyan!" Zach apologized, "I was just..."

"Dammit, I think it's broken!" she over exaggerated, holding her foot off the floor and balancing on one leg, hopping a little.

"Wait, I'll look at it," Zach said. Then he held her by the waist and lifted her onto the counter.

"Woo..." was all Cam could say. Zach was already taking off her shoe and examining her foot.

"Your bones aren't broken. The skin is slightly bruised, though you'll be okay to walk," he put her shoe back on.

"Okay," she said, wondering if she was really that light that _Zach_ could lift her up.

"Do you need help getting down?' he asked, genuinely concerned.

She shrugged, "Maybe?"

...

And that, my friends, is what we call 'milking it'. Go Cam!

Song is 'Black Book' by Tessanne Chin. (Big goofy smile) I love Tessanne. She's my girl...Once I got the chance to go to her house (the fashion designer I was working with for the summer was fitting her with some tops) and on the outside I was like 'Hi Tessanne', but on the inside I was like **'OH MY EFFING GOSH IT'S TESSANNE CHIN! AAAAH!' **She's cool. We ended up watching a _Flavor of Love: Charm School _marathon with her and her cousin. My cousin nearly killed me for not getting her autograph. I'm not really that 'mad crazy fanatic' when it comes to celebrities. Maybe if I met David Boreanaz. Then again, maybe not.

Linky to the song is on my profile.


	14. the 'vacation'

**Disclaimer:** I'd rather be a writer.

So, this one isn't that awkward. I just wanted to give Zach something to laugh at.

……………………………………………………….

"Dr. Saroyan?"

Zach peeped into the room, hoping against hope that his boss wasn't in some uncompromising position.

"Dr. Saroyan? You told me to tell you when they found the second body…"

Dr. Saroyan had been very tired that morning. She, Dr, Brennan and Angela had gotten in quite late after going out to Zach didn't know where. Dr. Brennan tried to remind Angela- repeatedly- that they were not on vacation and that searching for Willow Sanders' other victims in the Cozumel sand had more priority than going out. But last night Angela 'kidnapped' both Dr. Brennan and Dr. Saroyan and they had only gotten back at three that morning.

"Dr. Saroyan, are you in there?"

He opened the door and chanced a look inside. He didn't see her, but the way the white blanket was lumped on the bed suggested she was under it.

Heeding her instructions, Zach went to the bed to attempt to wake her up. He went to the head of he bed and threw the blanket off what he assumed was her head and was met with a pair of feet instead. As well as a pair of naked legs…

Quickly Zach made to put back the blanket and try the other end when something met his eye. There, on a pair of blue, very short flannel shorts Dr Saroyan was wearing were the words 'Kiss My Fanny' written in white. Zach couldn't help but laugh.

That was of course until he saw her head lift up at the other end of the blanket.

"Who the hell…" she started, before the urge to stretch overrode the urge to talk. Zach replaced the blanket and went to the foot of the bed to talk to her.

"We found the second body," he said, trying to wipe the smile off his face.

"Oh," Dr. Saroyan stretched again, "What the hell are you laughing at?"

……………………………….

The squints on assignment in Cozumel…that calls for a continuation. Maybe it'll be BB. Maybe it'll be CZ, or even HA. I'll keep you posted.

In the meantime, review.


	15. the money

This is so movie-type plot, it's not funny. I probably got it from a movie, though I have no idea which one it could have been.

**Disclaimer: **This is all just for fun, trust me.

"Bets open!" Jack shouted to the lab as soon as Booth stepped out of the lab. All over the place lab personnel started digging into their wallets, pockets and purses.

"This isn't right," said Brennan, her hand digging around in her handbag, "We shouldn't be betting on Booth."

"Says the lady with the twenty dollar bet," said Angela taking Brennan's money.

"It's just too good to pass up. Booth is gonna try to confront that big security guard at the gate for not waking up and letting him in. Hey, the other day, he pushed the button on the gate and it slammed into the side of my car. I told him good day and drove off," said Cam.

"He's tough," Jack admitted, "I wouldn't dare to even tell him good day. He looks like a walking brick wall. How tall do you think he is?"

"Six feet eight inches. I measured in relation to where on the side of the guard house his head reached while standing," Zach said, handing over his money to Angela.

"Man I'd pay extra just to see the actual fight," said Jack.

"Why don't we go watch?" Brennan smiled. She and Jack took off, followed by some of the staff of the others.

"Come back and tell me exactly what happened! I gotta keep collecting bets!" Angela shouted after them.

"Good for you Dr. Saroyan," said Dr. Landers, a fellow pathologist, "I see you will not be taking part in the bet. That is commendable."

"What the heck brought you to that conclusion? Seeley's gonna get creamed," with that Cam put up her foot on the rung of a stool beside Zach's, pulled up her skirt a little and pulled out fifty dollars from the top of her thigh-high stockings.

She missed Zach's nervous gulp and wide-eyed stare when she handed the money to Angela. "That says he'll be up here with a black eye in the next five minutes."

"Nifty place to keep money," Angela commented.

"That's just where I keep my special occasion money. And trust me, Seeley Booth getting beat up is a special occasion."

"Dr. Addy, is something wrong?" Dr. Landers, who had not been paying attention to the exchange, asked.

"Uh, no. I'm fine." Zach nodded, "I'll go...over there."

Zach got up and walked away, leaving Cam oblivious and Angela giggling.

...

Only people in movies hide their money in their stockings. I used to hide mine in my bra, but I got that from a movie too.

Reviews! I want reviews!


	16. the zipper

This is me exploiting my cousin's internet access at 9:47 pm. Can you believe I have not been home in a month?

N E Ways, back to the awkwardness.

...

"Cute dress,"

Cam looked up to see who had made the comment and saw Angela staring down at her.

"Oh thanks. My boyfriend Austin is flying in tonight and he wants to take me out to dinner."

"Hmm. So that's why you're wearing an easy-open dress," Angela grinned.

Cam looked down at her grey dress with its zipper halfway down its length. It was knee length and had a gold lace at the hem

"When can I meet him?" Angela asked.

Cam shook her head at her, "Next never."

"What!" Angela folded her arms like a disgruntled teenager, "First Kendra is off limits and now I cant meet Mr. Out-of-Town Boyfriend! Gosh, you and Zach never let me have any fun!"

Cam spun around from the scalpels she was polishing, "Zach and Dr. Lee are going out?"

Angela had on a scheming look, "Let me meet Austin and I'll tell you."

"Well, it's not like I'll die if I never find out," Cam shrugged.

Angela huffed and stomped out of the room

Cam went back to what she was doing, stopping a second to reach into her bag and pull out an oatmeal-raisin cookie. As she munched on it, she thought over what Angela had said. _Zach and_ _Dr. Lee? _She knew they liked each other, but she seriously couldn't see them making it serious.

A piece of cookie fell down her dress and lodged itself in her bra. Cam rolled her eyes. She pushed her hand down her bra to try to dislodge the cookie, but to no avail. The top of the dress was a bit tight.

First looking around to see if anyone was watching or coming her way, Cam pulled down the zipper on the front of her dress, pushed her hand down the red bra she had on mainly because it looked good and happened to be in Austin's favourite colour, and dislodged the cookie.

"Dr. Saroyan?"

"Zach? Dammit!" as she exclaimed, Cam had tried to yank the zipper up, and it got stuck.

"What are you doing?" he asked as she stood there trying to unstuck the zipper.

"A piece of cookie fell down my dress, okay? I was eating it and it fell down my clothes and i couldn't- why am I explaining to you?"

"Hold on," said Zach, coming closer. He held on to the zip and Cam had a mini heart attack when he pulled it down further, only to release the breath she was holding when he pulled back up the now unstuck zipper.

"Uh, thank you, I guess," she told him.

Zach just shrugged.

Cam adjusted her clothing to dispel her discomfort, but that didn't work.

"Zach," she asked instead, "are you dating Dr. Lee?"

...

It's good to be back.

I'll love some reviews!


	17. the shower

1Summer's over, school is back and though that is mostly bad news (SCHOOL! AGHHH!) It also means free internet and ! Woohoo! So to celebrate, we got more awkward fluff to be weirded out by. Arrivederci!

...

"I've become so blind I can't feel you there! Become so tired so much more aware!"

Cam stopped in her tracks as the voice hit her eardrums. Who the heck _was_ that? And why were they singing so loud in the gym showers this late in the day? Curiosity got the better of her and she turned to walk into the men's showers.

"How come every time you come around my London, London bridge wanna go down like!" the voice continued and echoed off the walls as Cam walked in, her Nike sneakers not making a sound on the wet tiles. The voice hollered on.

"They keep coming from wall to wall and I don't hear nothing but ladies calling...na na na na na na na na... They keep coming from WALL TO WALL!!"

Cam bit back a giggle as she listened. She wondered who it was. Probably some intern. She wished for fleeting moment that she had a camera to record the-

"When darkness comes to light it ends tonight! It ends to- aaaaaaah!"

Zach wrapped the towel around him hurriedly as he saw Dr. Saroyan standing in front of him in a blue and green track suit, hand over her mouth, eyes wide open and long ponytail impossibly still.

"Dr. Sa..." his voice disappeared.

"Sorry," she turned and ran out of the showers.

...

**Songs: **_Numb_ by Linkin Park, _London Bridge _by Fergie, _Wall to Wall _by Chris Brown (woot!) and _It Ends Tonight _by All American Rejects.

Hmmm, I wonder what she saw...

(Big grin.)

Review!


	18. the strippers

1Partially based on a true story. That is all I have to say.

Oh and yeah, I disclaim everything except the concept.

...

"Dead strippers,"said Booth as he and his partner- trailed by squints and federal agents- walked into the strip club where the bodies of what could turn out to be two missing strippers were found under the main stage, "what's next, huh?"

They went over to the bodies, Cam concentrating on the victims' remaining sinew, while Brennan and Zach worked on the rest. Then Zach pulled a bright coloured paper from one of the bodies.

"It's a wrapper for cherry flavoured condoms," Zach examined the paper, "Why would they make flavoured condoms?"

Everybody looked at Zach, then each other.

"You wanna take this one?" Booth asked Brennan.

"Busy," she said and walked off as an agent called her attention to something.

Jack shook his head, "I'm not doing it."

"I'll do it," said Cam as she looked at Booth's and Jack's faces. She put her mouth close to Zach's ear and whispered.

Suddenly Zach choked.

"_Me?_" he said, looking at Dr. Saroyan as if he was seeing her for the first time.

Cam rolled her eyes, "I didn't mean it like that, Zach!"

"Mean what like what?" Booth asked.

They looked at him.

"She said that I put..."

Cam slapped a hand over Zach's mouth.

"I said nothing," she said, holding Zach as he started to struggle.

"No wait, what did you say to him?"Jack was wide-eyed with excitement.

"Nothing. Could you excuse Zach a moment please?" Cam said, then she hauled Zach outside to the strip club's parking lot.

...

Short and weird, just the way I like it. I'll leave the missing parts to infect your brain and fester.

Review. And don't worry, I'll be satisfied with a simple, "That was weird..." (Smiley-face)


	19. the dream

1Okay, kookie, you're partly to blame for this. I wasn't even thinking that Cam was kinda jealous in 'the coffee'. But then I read it over and was like, "Hmm...she _does_ sound a little jealous". So this is the result of me taking that a step further.

**Disclaimer: **All I own is my overactive imagination and this plot.

...

Angela and Dr. Brennan sat in the break room, eating sandwiches and talking. Suddenly Zach came in, looking perplexed.

"I had a very bizarre dream last night."

"Really? Those are the best ones." said Angela, "What happened?"

"I suspect it was because I had eaten a large meal very late last night. That is usually..."

"No, silly, I mean what happened in the dream."

"Well..." he sat down on the seat Angela drew out for him, "I was in a boxing match. It was in the lab and I wasn't sure at first about who I was to fight. Then it became clear that I was supposed to fight Booth."

"Really?" said Dr. Brennan, "It isn't very possible that you and Booth would be in the same weight class and therefore you wouldn't be likely to fight him."

Angela rolled her eyes. "It's a _dream_ Bren! Stop being a spoiled sport and listen. Yeah, so what happened?" she asked Zach.

"I had to fight Booth in the lab. So I went to the library to read up on boxing, and that's where I saw you Angela fighting Hodgins over who was going to fly the rocket he bought to watch the fight from outer space. You were betting against me, and that is okay because sheer physics would dictate that I had less of a chance to win, but it still hurt. Dr. Brennan you told me to go through with the fight, but you were too busy feeding your twins to watch the fight, so you asked Hodgins to tape it for you."

"I had twins?" said Dr. Brennan.

"Did you see who the daddy was?" Angela asked.

Zach shook his head, "No. That's not important..."

"Like hell it isn't! I bet it was Booth."

"Ange-la!" Brennan shouted.

"Then I went back to the lab to look for Dr. Lee. She was angry when I told her that I was fighting. Then I told her I couldn't marry her because I was already married to Dr. Saroyan..."

"HUH??"

It was said by Angela, Dr. Brennan, Dr. Saroyan and Dr. Lee, the last two having walked in a second before.

"Whoa, that's juicy!" Angela laughed.

"What are you three talking about?" Dr. Saroyan asked.

"Zach had a crazy dream last night," Dr. Brennan supplied.

"Oh. Okay. No offense though, Cam, but there is no way Zach would marry you over me." Dr. Lee laughed.

"It was just a dream, Kendra," Zach told Dr. Lee.

"Dreams have a way of being nonsensical," Dr. Saroyan justified, giving Zach a pat on the shoulder.

"Of course," Dr. Lee stirred her coffee, an air of mischief in her voice.

"Excuse me, I have to go check on the test I was running," Zach said, getting up and leaving, "I'll tell you the rest of the dream later, Angela."

As Zach left, Dr. Lee sat beside Angela and Brennan at the table, still looking mischievous.

"But you know, if it were real, I'd win."

Cam turned to her, "Win what?"

"You know what I mean..." Dr. Lee shrugged, "I mean I am younger. I'm not his boss so there isn't that whole weird subordinate thing."

"Oh. I see..." Cam turned back to her tea, "But I think Zach and I are closer."

"We went out."

"Going to the office party doesn't count."

"Actually I think it does."

"Actually I think it doesn't."

"Goes to show what you know."

"Just remember you just got here. I've known Zach longer."

"Well, it can be argued that I know Zach_ better_."

"Um...ladies?" Angela butted in, "May I just remind you... you're fighting over _Zach_."

"We're not fighting!" Kendra and Cam shouted in unison.

...

I know. I've lost my marbles. I'm looking around for them.

Till I find them, leave a review.


	20. the uniforms

Hey again guys. It's your CZ obsessed friend Virtue. I could not resist making 20 chapters for this story, but this one's gonna have a part two and three because I couldn't resist that either! So here goes... I'll give you chaps two and three some other time. They're chasing us out of the lab!!

...

"Um, 'scuse me is this Dr

"Um, 'scuse me is this Dr. Saroyan's office?

Cam looked up from the fanfiction she was reading on her computer and saw a really cute guy with a large box in his hands.

"Yeah, that's me."

"Sign this please," he gave her a clipboard for her to signature and put the box down. as she handed back the clipboard Cam realized what the package must be. There was to be a benefit baseball series put on by the Jeffersonian. Cam had really begun to look forward to the games, especially since they were starting to make Seeley and Dr. Brennan engaged in innuendo-filled arguments, some of which were so intense, Cam had to wonder how come they hadn't jumped each other yet.

She smiled as she tore open the lid of the box. They probably already had.

"Wow these are nice!" Cam pulled out a baby blue and white t-shirt with the silhouette of a woman with a curly whip on the front. For the Themyscirans, an all girl team, Cam, Angela and Dr. Brennan had originally wanted the uniform to be red and white, but that would have clashed with Seeley's Striped Sox uniform. They had to change it, then later found out that Seeley changed his too, which was one of the thing that sparked the rivalry between the two teams (or more specifically their captains).

Cam took up the t-shirt and a pair of the (interestingly) short shorts that compromised the uniform and ran out of her office to show Angela. She couldn't help the running because she was a little exited. She rounded the corner, not paying attention to the human obstacle in her way…

BOOM!

One almighty crash later, she found herself on top of Zach.

"Ow…" he moaned.

"Crap. Sorry, Zach, I… is that the Striped Sox uniform?"

She looked down at his red white and blue baseball shirt with 'striped' written on one side and 'sox' on the other, "It looks nice."

"Your uniform looks more suited for softball," Zach said, "The shorts are very…"

"Yeah. True. Too late to change them now."

"The blue is different from ours."

"Yeah. You like the logo? Cute huh?"

"Is that a whip?"

"WOAH!"  
They both turned to see Angela with her hand over her mouth.

"Oh my Gucci handbag WHAT in the name of cream cheese are you two doing on the floor?!"

Cam looked down and realized she was straddling Zach. Clearing her throat, she got up and dusted off her skirt.

"I was uh… coming to show you these, Angela," she handed Angela the baseball uniform.

"And you decided to take the fun route?" Angela asked naughtily.

Cam helped Zach off the ground, then changed the subject.

"Have you seen the Striped Sox uniform?"

...

Reviews are impertinent...


	21. the game

Gosh school is so brutal! Do you know how long I have been walking around with this chap on my jump drive and couldn't upload it cause I was so busy? I hope you enjoy, though it ain't very long (Sorry Owl Emporium). I'll work on a nice long one for ya, okay sweeties? Right after I finish my Dependency Theory assignment.

...

"Who are you cheering for?" Cam asked Seeley as they sat in the bleachers of the baseball field watching the first game of the Jeffersonian Series between the Trojans and the Marmosets, the Trojans in green and the Marmosets in red and white.

"I guess the Trojans, since Hodgins is playing," he said, adjusting his cap, "But let's face it. That Marmoset team looks like they should be called the Gorillas."

"Yeah, you're right," Cam shielded her eyes and looked around the across the bleachers, which was filled with mostly Jeffersonian employees, "Oh, there's Zach, Angela and Dr. Brennan."

"Oh my God," Seeley exclaimed, "what is Bones wearing?"

Cam smiled as she watched Dr. Brennan got up to let Zach pass, her blue bikini top and short jeans shorts on show.

"To be fair, it's a really hot day."

"But- but- but...she's..." Seeley could go no further.

Cam saw Zach heading towards the concession stand and called him back.

"Hey Zach!"

He looked up and climbed the bleachers toward her and Seeley.

"Can you buy me a hot dog and a soda?" she gave him the money.

"Orange?" he asked. She nodded.

Zach was about ro turn away when Dr. Lee came out of nowhere.

"Hi, Kendra,"

"Oh, hey, Zach," she kissed his cheek, "Can you buy me some nachos and Pepsi, please?"

"Okay," Zach said, "That's nine items. Orange soda, Pepsi, Dr. Pepper, Sprite, bottled water, nachos, two fries and a hot dog."

"You'll remember that?" Cam asked.

"Yes. I'm able to remember linger lists of..."

It was like slow motion. The Marmoset batter hit the ball into the stands. It rose and fell in an arch, right into the back of Zach's head.

He fell forward and his head landed in Cam's lap.

"Oh my God!" she screamed.

"Yeah! Woo! Go, Dr. Atkins!" Seeley shouted.

"Iwas kind of talking about the unconcious doctor in my lap, Seeley!" Cam snapped.

"Oh, poor baby!" Dr. Lee cooed and bent beside Zach, pulling his head out of Cam's lap and into her own.

"Jeez, Kendra. He was fine where he was," Cam shot at her.

Dr. Lee narrowed her eyes and frowned at her.

Seeley looked around, the play over.

"Damn," he exclaimed, "What happened?"

...

This fanfic is review compatible


	22. the hugs

The baseball will be back later, but when the stress of Dependency Theory got to me, I took the edge off by typing a little CZ love, you know, for a fix. Hopefully I can still finish in time.

...

"But it's true!"

"Not everyone thinks the same. Behaviours differ all over the world."

"That may be true, but there are some gestures that are universal, made more so by the globalisation process, migration and shared meanings."

"That is not necessarily true."

"Actually yes it is."

"Hey, hey, hey!" Cam came in, breaking up Zach and Jack's heated debate. They looked at her, their faces showing that they were just waiting for her to leave the room so they could go again, "What's the fighting for?"

"He started it!" Zach pointed at Jack, "He said that a full-bodied hug could be interpreted all over the world to mean close intimate relationship or romantic interest."

"It can't?" Cam asked, wondering how the heck they had found time to be arguing about trivialities when they all had work to do. The Idol in the Parking Lot case wasn't going to solve itself.

"He shouldn't make such a statement if he cannot account for everybody in the world! In some cultures, there is no such thing as personal space. In the Middle East for example people speak in close proximity," Zach argued.

"What prompted this argument may I ask?" Cam folded her arms.

Jack grinned, "Dr. Watson hit on Zach."

Cam gaped, "Huh?"

"She gave me a hug this morning, the type that is usually used to convey sexual interest," Zach sounded a little distressed.

Ignoring the way the word 'sexual' sounded when Zach said it, Cam decided that solving this little thing would get the J and Z Dream Team back on track without distraction faster that sheer bullying.

"How exactly did she hug you? Show me," Cam said.

"Like this," Zach stepped forward and put his arms around Cam, pulling her closer and pressing her to him.

"And then she went like this,"

He trailed his hands down her back slowly and pulled her even closer.

"Ohhh," Cam mumbled, "She did all that?"

"Yes," Zach let her go and stepped away, "Do you think I should be concerned?"

"Umm…" Cam saw Dr. Watson walking into her peripheral vision. The lady was twice Cam's age and a little nutty. But she wasn't the type that Cam thought would hit on guys. She was perhaps being overly friendly.

"So how should she have hugged you?" she asked as Dr. Watson moved away again.

"More...like this,"

He held her again, this time without that much pressure and for a shorter time. Cam wondered if she should be worried about the fact that she just inhaled his shoulder.

"Okay... I don't see the big difference." she told him.

"There is," Zach assured her, "One is more platonic, like this."

He hugged her again.

"And one is more intimate, like this."

He squeezed her to him and ran his hands to the small of her back once more. Cam couldn't catch her breath till he let her go.

"Mmm..." she played dumb, putting on a confused frown and scratching her temple, "I still don't see the difference. Show me again."

"Oookay," Jack butt in, "I think we should go back to work. Dr. Watson will be coming back for her lab results soon, Zach."

"I hope she doesn't hug me again," Zach sighed.

Jack led Zach away, shooting a glance over his shoulder back at Cam.

...

Lucky Cam. I want a Zach hug too!

(pouts)

It makes me just wanna...run off to wherever they're holding Zach, lock him in a closet and put some smooching on him...

Did I say that out loud?

(Puts on some dark sunnies and hides from the press)


	23. the strip tease

University is an evil place

University is an evil place. The work they expect me to do! When I get out of here, I'm getting myself a nice boring job that leaves me ample time to write fanfictions…I'll be an 'educated bum'. according to my cousin Kimmy.

So, who wants some more awkward fluff?

…………………..

"One two three, four, five, six…"

"What are you counting?"

Zach looked up to see Booth looking at him questioningly.

"Um… my beetles seemed to have dwindled in number slightly."

"How much?" Booth asked, not really interested now that he knew Zach wasn't psycho.

"Maybe…one."

Okay, maybe he was psycho.

"What does it matter if you lost one beetle?" Booth asked.

Zach shrugged, "There is the possibility that it could be a flesh eating beetle and if it has not been squashed, it could end up…"

"AAAAAAAAAH!"

Cam screamed from the other side of the lab.

"OH MY GOD CAM'S BEING EATEN ALIVE!!" Booth screamed.

It had Booth and Zach jumping up and running towards her.

They ran over to where she stood jumping up and down, tears streaming down her face.

"Dr. Saroyan, don't panic!" Zach shouted, grabbing her blouse and pulling the buttons rapidly, looking for the bug.

"What the!?" Cam batted Zach's hand away from her blouse, "ZACH WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"

"The flesh eating beetle…" he started.

"What?"

The flesh eating beetle went down in your clothes. You screamed and we assumed…"

"I screamed because my finger got stuck in the drawer. And it hurts like hell…You were taking my clothes off, Zach!!"

"Sorry," he tried to button the blouse back up, but she swatted his hand away again.

"I'll get you a first aid kit," Zach aid and turned away. She did up the buttons and glared at Booth, who was chuckling.

"Honest mistake…" he started, before her hand slapped him on the shoulder.

…..

Review, please. Make me happy.


	24. the first base

Who missed me? Gosh, I am tired of typing. My fingers are going to fall off with all these assignments I have to do...Well, I know you have been pining away without your CZ fix (I definitely was) so yesterday I took some time to type up a couple of awkwardly fluffy stories. Hopefully by the end of the week, I'll be able to pt up some from my other stories as well

**Disclaimer:** You should be glad I don't own it!!! I'd spoil it irrepairably!

* * *

"Go Cam! Woo!"

Somebody yelled from the team's dugout. The Themyscirans were now three runs behind the Striped Sox. Cam took up her bat and faced the opposing pitcher.

"Hey your ass looks good from this angle," said Dr. Knowles, a historian, who was the pitcher for the game.

"Shut up," said Cam, trying to concentrate. He was only trying to distract her, she knew.

"You know, I would just like to each out and give it a little pat..."

"You wouldn't dare!"

When she turned around to voice her threat, Dr. Knowles showed her the ball he caught only seconds before.

"Strike one!" said the umpire.

Cam turned back to the pitcher, determined not to let him get to her again.

"Those shorts are so hot. If you could just bend over a little more..."

It almost, _almost_ got to her, but she concentrated on the ball, took a swing...

_THWACK!_

She hit it!

Throwing the bat dangerously near to Dr. Knowles' head, Cam took off towards the first base. She ran towards Zach, who seemed to be concentrating on the ball. As she reached the base, he stepped in front of her in order to catch the ball. She tripped over his foot.

_CRASH!!_

In a cloud of dust, they ended up on the ground, Cam halfway on top of Zach, the ball, mitt and Zach's hat rolling away.

"Safe!" the umpire called.

"Oh gosh, Cam, Zach, are you two okay?!" Angela shouted from second base.

"Ow, my head," Zach groaned.

"I'm fine!" Cam shouted back, getting up. She helped Zach to his feet.

"Oh Zach!" Dr. Lee abandoned third base and came running over, "Did she hurt you?"

"WHAT!" Cam shouted.

"I mean...are you hurt?" Dr. Lee glanced over at Cam and didn't look remorseful at all.

"Your lip is bleeding. What happened?" the umpire asked.

"Zach's teeth." Cam wiped away the blood with the back of her hand.

Dr. Lee turned from brushing the dirt off Zach's uniform, "What was you lip doing in Zach's mouth?"

Cam's brows came together. She guessed it was the impact of the fall, which would also explain why she was cut. She was just about to say as much when she remembered Kendra's comment before.

She looked at her rudely, "Wouldn't you like to know?"

* * *

Ugh! What is Kendra's deal??? I made her up and I don't even like her!!!

Review please


	25. the accident

Okay, this one isn't very Cam/Zach. It's more Cam/Austin, but you'll like it anyway. Don't worry.

**Disclaimer:** As much as I would love to, no.

................................

"An arrow?" Cam repeated disbelievingly. Zach and Hodgins nodded.

"The wooden shards we found on the crime scene are consistent with the arrows that they hand make at the archery nearby," said Jack.

"Just like this one," Zach held up a loaded bow and drew back the string, locking in on an invisible target, " She was hit from about fifteen yards away. Angela is working on the crimescene on the Angelator as we speak."

"Okay. Good. But everybody that we have as suspects either go to that range for work or recreation," Cam pointed out, "Seeley and Dr. Brennan have their work cut out...Austin?"

She looked past Zach and Hodgins to see Austin walking though the Medico-Legal Lab doors. She walked to meet him half way.

"What are you doing here?"

"Come to see you babe," he kissed her and enveloped her in his big arms. He looked over her shoulder.

"I know that dude, right?" he asked.

Cam turned around to see Zach demonstrating to Angela how to use a bow and arrow, "Um, yeah. So what brings you to Washington?"

"I've got some work to do here for a few weeks. So you have me here for a while."

"Good," Cam smiled as he kissed her again.

"So, wanna go to lunch?" he asked.

"Sorry," she held her gloved hands, "Work. Dinner?"

"Work," he grinned apologetically, "Damn. As usual our schedules clash. Unless something drastic happens, we won't get any time together- AAAAAAAH!"

Austin, big as he was, crumpled and fell to the ground, a big wooden arrow lodged in his shoulder.

Cam was so shocked, she could only look down at him, her mouth open and catching flies.

"Wow! You're good with that thing, Zach!" Angela shouted, "You shot Cam's boyfriend!"

"Dude..." said Jack, "She's gonna kill you."

"Whoops," said Zach.

"Call an ambulance!" Cam shouted, kneeling beside Austin as he whimpered on the floor.

..........................

Review! I know you wanna talk about Zach shooting Austin!


	26. the feather

Hey, once again, another new chap!

**Disclaimer:** As a lot of people have been saying these days, if I owned it, Jack and Angela would be on their anniversary cruise right now.

* * *

Zach should have warned her. He wasn't sure why he didn't. She was standing right in front of him and they were discussing the anomalies in the remains that were involved in their latest case when all of a sudden out of the corner of his eye, Zach saw Booth sneak up behind Dr. Saroyan with a large feather.

He had registered what Booth was going to do, had known the outcome he desired, knew that he was probably going to be reprimanded for not pointing out the burly agent behind his boss. Yet he said nothing.

"Zach are you listening to me? I said that the needle you found in Anna's leg muscle was most likely-AAAAAH!"

Dr. Saroyan leapt into Zach's arms, her legs lifted off the ground her face buried in the side of Zach's neck.

"Gotcha!" said Booth, laughing crazily.

Zach stood there with Dr. Saroyan's waist in his hands, her perfume in his nostrils and her ponytail in his eyes. She whimpered as Booth laughed at her mercilessly.

"I hate you, Seeley!" she shouted, her mouth still near Zach's shoulder. She turned her head finally and looked at Booth, "Why do you have to be so mean?!"

"Nah. I'm not mean. You're just an easy target," Booth grinned.

"Ugh!" Dr. Saroyan's head came back on Zach's shoulder for a second, "You're such a child!"

"And you're a baby!" Booth smiled, "See? Even Zach's gotta cuddle you!"

"Zach is _not _cuddling me!" she lashed out, putting her feet on the floor and dislodging herself from Zach, standing with her arms folded, "Sorry Zach."

"Uh, it's okay," Zach put his hand in his pockets, hoping he wasn't blushing.

Booth reached out and tickled Dr. Saroyan's neck with the feather again.

"SEELEY!" Dr. Saroyan took up a large anatomy book.

"Uh oh!" Booth recreated and Dr. Saroyan sped after him, heavy book held over her head.

* * *

Why do I always write Booth doing some sort of mischief? (shrugs shoulders)

REVIEW!


	27. the winks

Disclaimer: Nah.

This happens more often than you might think...

* * *

"What is this?"

Cam had taken something out of the pocket of the lumberjack that was on her examination table. It was a small plastic bag with what appeared to be sawdust inside.

Darvon Perry had been trying to prove that the company he had worked for was chopping down endangered species of trees. Did he take the sawdust as evidence? Probably.

It was sad. The guy had been trying to do the right thing. She sighed.

And her exhaled air kicked up the sawdust. Right into her eye.

"Ah! Mother..." she instinctively rubbed her eye continuing to curse.

She watched Zach walk in with her good eye.

"Will you be coming with us to the crime scene Dr. Saroyan? Agent Booth asked me to ask you."

"Yeah I'll come with you," she blinked as the dust irritated her eye.

"Are you okay, Dr. Saroyan?" he asked her.

"Yeah I'm fine. I'm absolutely groovy," she said sarcastically, her eyelid fluttering by reflex now. Zach looked confused.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Um, yeah, I'm sure. Just gimme a minute and I'll be ready to go, okay?" she blinked through the tears that were forming in her eye.

Zach actually took a step back.

"What's wrong?" Cam asked, trying to smile through her pain and see through her blinking eye, "I'm not going to bite you or anything."

Her eyelid fluttered again.

"WHY ARE YOU WINKING AT ME??!!"

Cam's good eye widened. _What?_

"I am not winking at you, Zach!" she shouted, "There's something in my eye! I can't..."

"Well!..." Zach stopped and adjusted his voice level, "You're making it difficult to correctly interpret your signal."

"IT IS NOT SIGNAL!"Cam shouted, "MY EYE IS CLOGGED WITH SEDIMENT!"

"It looks like you're winking."

"Well I'm not."

"I'm sorry."

"You better be," she winked.

* * *

Could you post a review? (wink, wink)


	28. the swivel chair

Last one for the day!!!

Disclaimer: For the millionth time, NO!!!

* * *

"No way."

"Way."

"No way."

"WAY!"

Zach was only half listening. H e was too engrossed in the ethnography he was reading on the net about an ethnic group from South America. It was interesting and Zach continued to read, even while Dr. Saroyan and Angela continued their exchange.

"I do not believe that Seeley would put a half-naked picture of himself on his Facebook profile!" Dr. Saroyan shouted.

"He what?" Dr. Brennan, who was sitting nearby, exclaimed.

"I'm telling you I saw it when I was looking at Hodgins' profile. You know he's on Hodgins' friends list. I decided to check it out and there he was, in nothing but a pair of jeans and a smile."

"I have to see that for myself," Dr. Saroyan declared.

"I'd have to see it too...you know to believe it," said Dr. Brennan.

"Excuse me a minute, Zach."

With her hip, Dr. Saroyan pushed Zach's swivel chair to the side, clicked on Tabs and typed in Facebook.

"I'll show you, I'll show you!" Angela pushed Dr. Saroyan over, which caused her to fall into Zach's lap.

"I don't see it" Dr. Brennan had her eyes glued to the screen.

"There it is," Dr. Saroyan pointed at the picture with excitement, "Ohhh...he looks hot."

"I agree, "Angela grinned naughtily.

Dr. Brennan cleared her throat, "Um...what did you say the name of this site was?"

"Facebook, sweetie," Angela explained, "You have profiles where you can tell all about yourself, and put up pictures. Also a good excuse for ogling your half-naked partner."

Dr. Brennan shot her a venomous look.

"Who took this picture?" Dr. Saroyan wondered.

"Some lucky creature," Angela shook her head, then smiled, "Brennan wishes it was her."

"Ange-la!" Brennan shouted.

"Oh, come on, Bren, you can't deny…"

"Dr. Saroyan, can you please stop squirming?"

The three looked at him. Then Angela and Dr. Brennan looked at Dr. Saroyan.

"It's uncomfortable."

"Whoops," she got up, "Um, sorry Zach."

Zach got up too, "You can have the chair."

"Oh. Thank you."

Zach put his hands in his lab coat pockets.

"I'll just use a different computer," he said and walked off.

* * *

There's a running theme in my fics, where Angela teases Brennan and Booth taunts Cam. And I think that the "Ange-la!" that Brennan says when Angela teases her is a running theme as well. What can I say? I was taught writing unofficially by Mel Brooks. Not joking, I even find myself breaking the 'fourth wall' a la _Robin Hood: Men in Tights_ at times.

Reviews please, I beg of thee!


	29. the letter

1"What are you doing?"

Zach looked up from the computer and saw Dr. Saroyan peering at the screen.

"Writing a letter to the National Geographic," he answered.

"About what?"

Zach shrugged, "I felt the need to respond to their article last month regarding the anglerfish."

"Ooo...kay," Cam looked at him weirdly, "Can I read it?"

"Yes,"

She bent over a little, reading the article.

Zach realized she had her hand on his head.

"Dr. Saroyan, your hand is a little uncomfortable there."

"Huh?" she wasn't paying attention.

"Your hand..."

"Hmm. This sounds good, Zach. Though I'm not sure why your tone is so angry. It's just one little mistake about a fish that lives very far under the sea." she ruffled his hair, "Don't be so angry with the NG people. They're not as smart as you."

"Um..." Zach felt a tingle go down his spine as she ran her hand through his hair, "Doc-"

"I didn't know that!" she pointed at the screen, "You sure about that?"

"Mmmm..." Zach said in way of and answer, her eyes half closed. He couldn't say much else; Dr. Saroyan was half playing with his hair and half massaging his scalp.

"Oh Zach you can't tell the people that. It's just one little mistake. Don't you want your letter published in the magazine?" she continued to play with his hair, oblivious, "You need to be a little bit nicer. Other than that it is a great letter. Insightful." she straightened, patted his shoulder and walked off.

Zach let his head fall on the desk.

"Hey Zach,"

Zach lifted his head to look at Jack, who was looking at him with concern.

"You okay man?"

"Scalp massages are very relaxing," was all Zach said before letting his fall again.


	30. the bra

I was so missing my CZ fix. So I did this today, completely ignoring the paper I'm to give in tomorrow. I promise I'll take some time off studying and write some more!!!

I know it's kinda short, but bear with me, please.

* * *

"What exactly are we looking for?" Zach asked as he went into a file cabinet drawer.

"I told you, Zach. We need to find the key for that storeroom that I locked last time to stop Angela and Hodgins going in there! There are some artifacts that the museum needs for their display, so I'm dead if I don't find it! No, it's not in there, I checked there already. Look over there." Dr. Saroyan pointed to a bag near Zach from over her desk drawer which she was rifling through.

Zach went over to the bag, started pulling out journals. He found some books that were definitely not academic among them. Opening one named Restless Bride, he skimmed the pages and saw that it was historical fiction. The cover wouldn't have told him that because on it he saw a woman with her bodice half open who looked like she was falling and a man with no shirt on catching her. Confused, Zach put the book back down. He came to a CD of an artiste named Joe. Zach found that unimaginative. He pulled out more books, academic and otherwise, until his eye caught something shiny.

"Are these the keys?"

"Oh yes!" Dr. Saroyan an over to him and grabbed the keys, "Thank you, Zach! You just saved my job!"

Zach's eyes caught something else in the bag. It was a blue strap. He pulled it out curiously.

"Dr. Saroyan?"

"Hmm?" she was already on the phone, calling the curators to send someone for the key.

"Why is there a brassiere in this bag?"

Her gasp was so loud it was almost the same pitch as a scream. Fast as lightning, she ran up to him and grabbed the bra out of his hands.

"GIMME THAT!" she yelled, then her expression changed as someone pick up the other line, "Oh! Sorry. No not you. This is Dr. Saroyan from the Medico-Legal Lab. I'm calling to tell you I found the key for the Aztec warrior storeroom?" she shot Zach a glance that could melt rubber, turned him around and pushed him out of her office.

"Did she find the key?" Dr. Brennan asked him as he walked out.

"Yes."

"Good. Is she busy? I saw her pushing you out of her office."

"She pushed me out because I found her bra."

Dr. Brennan's eyes bugged out, "You found her bra? What does that mean?"

"Her bra was in her bag and I pulled it out."

It took a while but finally Dr. Brennan nodded with understanding, "Oh."

* * *

Bren's mind just jumped to a conclusion. Wonder what conclusion that was?

Review please!!! I haven't gotten one in forever.


	31. the apology

This one is the continuation to 'The accident'. More Cam/Zach than Cam/Austin this time.

* * *

They had come to the hospital, Angela and Jack for mere entertainment and Zach because he wanted to apologize. Waiting out in the lobby, Angela occupied herself with watching the sick people go by.

"Woo! " she exclaimed, "What happened to his eye?"

"It looks like he was stabbed with an icepick," Zach deduced.

"Wow that's uncanny. How did you know it was an icepick?" Angela sounded impressed.

"He's holding a bloody icepick in his hand," Jack pointed out, making Angela feel foolish.

Zach looked down the hallway and saw his boss coming at them, murder in her eyes. She was beside him in a flash.

She surprised- and hurt- him when she punched his shoulder.

"OW!"

"You shot my boyfriend! Are you crazy?" Dr. Saroyan asked, punching him again. He looked up at her, all the pain he was feeling in his eyes. Jack and Angela were grinning like idiots.

"It was an accident!" Zach shouted.

"It really was, Cam, I saw it," said Angela.

"Now he will have to stay home! He won't be able to go to work for a few days! I'll have to take care of him! I..."

The look on Cam's face suddenly changed.

"I think I should be thanking you."

"Huh?" Zach rubbed his injured arm and look at her, confused. She smiled at him, which made Zach suspicious.

"Before you shot him, Austin and I had no time to spend together. But now...we get to spend at least _some_ time together. Thanks Zach!"

"Uh...okay," Zach said as she kissed his forehead and his cheek and gave him a quick hug. Angela and Jack exchanged grins again.

"Why are you guys even here? You need to keep working on the case. I'll be back in a few hours," Cam turned around and walked back down the hall.

"Dmn. I wanted her to hit you more," said Jack.

* * *

Review, I plead.


	32. the tattoo

Haven't updated this story in a while. But you know what? The time between isn't important. What is important is the FIX! So here's some more of that good ol' CZ drugs!

* * *

"How did _that_ happen?" Cam pointed at the pictures that Dr. Brennan had just said via web cam back to the Jeffersonian from Albuquerque where she and Booth were on assignment.

"The remains seem to have been impaled in the stomach at a 60 degree angle by a wooden pole. It also seems to have entered from the front and pushed downwards into the pelvis," Zach pointed out.

Angela had Hodgins had their heads leaning to the left as they looked at the pictures.

"I don't think a human being did that," Angela suggested, "Unless he was on steroids. It could have been an accident."

"Maybe the guy...fell?"said Hodgins.

"Maybe. But I guess this is a homicide till the evidence tells us it isn't," Cam made to leave the room, "I'll be back in a minute. You guys see what you can figure out until Dr. Brennan gets back in touch with us," her pen fell to the floor and she bent to pick it up where it fell beside Zach's.

Zach who had been paying attention to what Cam was saying, looked at her bend over to retrieve the pen. Her blouse bunched up, baring her back and something else.

"Wow," he said, "You have a tattoo, Dr. Saroyan."

"Really?" Jack peered over the table which was obstructing his view of Cam when she bent over.

"It's just henna. We all have one," Angela told them, "We got them when we went out last Saturday."

"So you two and Dr. Brennan have tattoos?" Jack asked.

"They wash off," Cam stood up, gasped as Zach lifted her shirt at the back. The light whisper touch of fingertips over her spine made her shiver, "Zach!"

"I'm still looking at it," he said, "It's a cluster of flowers and stars."

"We know this," Cam snapped, "That's the pattern I asked for."

"Do the stars make a known constellation?" Zach traced them with his fingers and she shivered again.

"No, Zach. I don't think so."

"They make an interesting design," Zach was following a line of stars that went down into the waistband of Cam's pants. He held on to it and moved it onto the way.

"Zach!" Cam grabbed his hand and spun around to face him, "Don't do that!"

"Why did you stop him?" Angela whined, "It was just getting good!"

"He was reaching into my pants Angela!" Can shouted.

"I wasn't!" Zach shouted too.

"Hey, where's your tattoo?" Jack lifted the back of Angela's top, and she slapped his hand away.

* * *

Woah. That was almost steamy.

You know what's steamy? Clicking buttons on computer screens. Go ahead. Try it.


	33. the aftermath

**Slight warning: **Blood and gore

**A/N:** This is the long-awaited second part to 'the money'. IDK how I did with it, so your comments are appreciated.

**Disclaimer:** I asked and they said no, because I'm not pretty enough.

"What did I tell you?" said Cam as Hodgins and an intern helped Booth back into the Medico-Legal Lab. Seeley's face was miraculously spared, but from the lopsided way he was walking, they could tel that the security guard had dealt with him a proper beating.

"Acutually, the guard got beat up too, but it's safe to say that Booth lost," Hodgins helped him into a chair.

"You okay Seeley?" Cam asked. She got a groan in response.

Just then, Dr. Brennan came over with a large wad of cotton, warm water, bandages and antiseptic. "Oh Booth honey I'm so so sorry..."

"It's not like you punched him, Dr. Brennan. We told him that guy wasn't to be messed with," Hodgins said.

"Where are you hurt?" Angela asked.

"Everywhere," Booth mumbled. Cam came forward to help as Brennan unbuttoned Seeley's shirt. She saw the large gash in his chest.

"What happened?" Cam asked.

"The Incredible Hulk threw him in the fence," Hodgins informed her. Zach brought a stool closer so they could put the bowl of hot water on it. Brennan poured antiseptic in it to dilute it.

"You're not gonna do what I think you're gonna do, are you, Bones?" Booth asked, eyeing the antiseptic.

"I'm sorry, we have to clean the wound Seely, or it can get infected," Cam told him, her heart breaking as she saw her friend wince with pain even before the stinging liquid touched him.

"Take a deep breath, okay? " Dr. Brennan said as if she was talking to her six year old son before touching the cotton to his skin. He cried out in little-girl fashion.

"Ow! Bones!"

"I have to do this Booth..."

"Ow! OW!"

"Sweetie, if you just hold still..."

"OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW-OW!"

"Dr. Saroyan, you're hurting my hand."

Cam turned to see Zach with a pained expression on his face. Looking down she saw she was holding his hand in a death grip.

"Whoops!" she yanked her hand from his, "Sorry."

"Wow. Isn't this romantic?" said Angela, "Hand holding, caresses, endearments...Makes you just wanna make out," she turned to Jack, "Am I right?"

"There is nothing romantic about being gored by a fence!" Booth yelled.

"I think so," said Hodgins "That near perfect arch you made as he flung you into it. Man, I wish I had a camera."

"Ew, it's bleeding again!" Angela pointed out. Cam couldn't take it. She reached for Zach's hand again and shut her eyes tight.

"Don't you see serious wounds like this all the time, Dr. Saroyan?" Zach asked her.

"Yeah, but not on somebody I actually know!" she told him, her eyes still shut.

"Okay. It's patched up now. You can open your eyes," Brennan patted the gauze over the wound slightly, so it wouldn't hurt her partner.

She opened her eyes to see Seeley buttoning up his shirt. She relaxed.

"Can Zach have his hand back now?" Angela asked, grinning, "You know, since the crisis is over."

Cam released Zach's hand, "Whatever."

* * *

Wow. I dunno what to say.

Hopefully you do.

Review, please?


	34. the first aid

Short and cute. Hope you like.

**Disclaimer:** Once upon a time there was a young woman who sat in the lab at her University. This girl had great dreams to be a famous writer. So she did the next best thing. She started writing fanfictions on Fanfiction dot net, so the whole wide world could see her brilliant ideas. But alas, the young maiden had to Disclaim ownership of the show and the characters that she wrote about, because she did not want to be sued. The relevant authorities laid off her back, and she lived happily ever after. The End

"Sit down!"

Zach did as he was told, sitting on a stool. Dr. Saroyan was mumbling to herself angrily as she took a bandage out of the first aid kit.

"Didn't I specifically tell you _not_ to do it?!" she exploded as she turned around.

"Um, yes." he answered, wincing a little as she cleaned the cut on his forehead, "But we needed to test whether or not, given the environmental conditions that day, the explosion couldn't have happened."

"And so you blatantly disregard me and go off to make a controlled explosion in my lab? Are you _nuts?! _Hodgins is lucky his injuries aren't that serious. But that piece of glass could have severed his hand! You could have blown your face off!"

She put the bandage on his forehead, secured it properly.

"But at least we found out that given the conditions the explosion was plausible," he told her.

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" she kissed the bandage on his forehead, "You could have died! I could have lost you both. Now go do something more constructive with your time and don't blow up my lab again, understand me?"

"Yes," he got up and went back to his desk.

Cam shook her head, watching him walk away. When did her job become raising teenage boys?

* * *

Can I haz review now?


	35. the pesky little kid

They say that introducing a young child late in the series sometimes causes the show to jump the shark, but they never said anything about fanfics.

**Disclaimer:** The kid is mine. You cant have her!!!

* * *

Cam parked in her space in the parking lot of the Jeffersonian, and looked over at the ten year old girl strapped into the front seat.

"You promise not to give any trouble, right Perry?" she asked her Little Sister, a worried look on her face.

"Promise," Perry smiled.

"You stay one place till I can come for you and bring you to lunch with your brother, you hear me?" Cam wagged a finger after Perry.

"Yeah, yeah. Cam, you're supposed to be my Big Sister, not my mom. You don't get to point at me like that."

Despite herself, Cam smiled. When the programme had placed them together, Cam saw immediately the similarities between herself and Perry. They both had the same shiny black hair, though Perry's was in pigtails, the same big brown eyes, and the same penchant for bossing other people around. Sometimes, the similarities between them were the cause of great conflict. But sometimes, like this time, it made Cam smile.

"Alright, I'll try. If you wanna go on a tour of the museum, it'll have to wait a bit, okay? I'm going to be a bit busy today. Grab your bag," Cam helped Perry out of her seatbelt- unnecessarily- and watched her take up her bag and hop out of the car.

.oO00Oo.

They walked into the lab a few minutes later.

"Hey!" Perry called in greeting to the security guard, giving him a cute smile-and-wave combo. He smiled and waved back.

Cam slid her card through the machine and it granted her access to the platform. Looking first if there was a corpse on the illuminated examination table, Cam ushered Perry up the steps to where the Squint Squad stood.

"Um, morning everybody," said Cam, "This is Perry Alden. She's going to be with us a bit."

Perry waved, "Hi."

Dr. Brennan was closest to the little girl, "Hi Perry. I'm Dr. Brennan, a forensic anthropologist."

Perry nodded, impressed, "Cool. I'm in the fifth grade."

Angela smiled, "I like this kid. Hey, I'm Angela, I'm an artist."

Perry's face broke out in a big grin, "Really? Me too!"

"Maybe you can show me your work sometime," Angela told her.

Perry nodded wildly, "Yeah, okay."

"Hey kiddo. I'm Agent Booth. I work for the FBI." Booth told her, saying it in a way that emphasized how important his job sounded.

Perry smiled, "Do you know my cousin? Jamie Alden?"

"Does he work for the FBI?" Booth asked.

"Nah. You guys put him in jail."

The smile on Booth's face dimmed, "Oh. No I don't know him, honey."

"Oh good. My cousin sells this stuff that my mom says will make you sick. I think it's drugs, but she won't tell me."

Several eyebrows went up around the room.

"Hey, I'm Dr. Hodgins, Perry," Hodgins smiled at her, "I'm an entomologist."

"That's like bugs, right? Dude, I totally wanna do that!"

"You know about entomology?" Jack asked her, looking excited.

"Yeah! I think it's sooo cool! I like bugs and stuff! Do you have any?"

"If she starts talking conspiracy theories, we'd have found Hodgins' twin soul," Booth muttered.

"Hey, who's that?" Perry started pointed at the person on a computer before she remembered it was impolite to point.

"Oh," Cam shrugged, "he's Zach. He's distracted, it happens."

"HEY ZACH!" Perry cupped her hands and shouted into them.

"Perry," Cam sounded just like a frustrated mother.

Zach turned, " Sorry, what?"

"Hi, I'm Perry! I came here with Cam! How are you?!"

"He can hear you fine, Perry, you don't have to shout," Cam sighed and rolled her eyes.

"Oh. Hi," Zach looked at Cam, "I'm going over the results now."

"Okay, good," Cam nodded at him. Then she looked down at Perry, "Will you please go with Angela till I can drop you off at Matthew's?"

"Totally," Perry grinned, "I'll be a little angel. Now, Angela, do you happen to have bright red paint? I'm feeling my muse."

"We'll see," Angela took Perry by the shoulder and led her down the platform's steps.

"Cute kid," said Booth to Cam.

"She's great, but as you can see, she's...a bit of a handful."

"I bet she's a window into what you were like at that age," said Hodgins.

"She does seem to share a few of your characteristics," Brennan observed.

Cam laughed, "Well, yeah."

"Dr. Saroyan, could you come here a moment, please?" said Zach and Cam rushed over and bent slightly to see the screen.

.oO00Oo.

"Zach's kind of cute."

Angela laughed, "You're something else. Didn't you just say that Hodgins was cute?"

"Well he is, and so is Zach. And so is Agent Booth," Perry grinned.

Angela grinned too, went back to cutting out a picture of Jennifer Lopez for Perry's collage, "Well, I guess I agree."

"You guys are so lucky. My new school has no boys except the teachers and they're old and ugly. I miss my old school." Perry sighed, painting a long green line on the thick paper she was working on, "And Tyler Tam. Now _he_ was cute."

Angela grinned.

Hodgins came to the door of Angela's office, "'Scuse me ladies. Dr. Brennan wants that sketch of the twins in the river."

"Um, sure, it's..." Angela looked around frantically, "it's by the platform, I'll go get it. Perry, are you okay here by yourself for a few minutes?"

"Definitely. I won't even touch the scissors," Perry smiled, watching Angela leave the room behind Hodgins.

She waited a few minutes before she got up.

.oO00Oo.

Perry walked out of Angela's office and looked around the lab.

Her eyes landed on Zach.

He was now at a different computer, typing and navigating the mouse. Perry half skipped half ran to the stool beside his.

"Hey," she said as she climbed up and sat. He didn't notice her.

"HELLOOOOOO!" Perry shouted in her cupped hands.

Zach turned to look at her, "Hi, Perry."

"You were halfway to Sesame Street when I called you back!" she feigned frustration, throwing her hands in the air, "That's New York, you know!"

"Sesame Street is a fictitious place," said Zach.

"I know. I'm not a baby you know. I'm ten. I don't watch Sesame Street."

"Oh," Zach turned back to the computer.

"So Cam's your boss, huh?" Perry propped her elbow on the table and placed her chin on her hand.

"Yes."

"Do you think she's nice?"

Zach nodded, his attention more on the test results he was looking over than on Perry.

"Do you think she's pretty?" Perry leaned in.

Zach was only half listening, "Uh-huh."

Perry's mouth formed an O and her pigtails flew as she looked to see if anyone was coming. She saw Dr. Brennan but she was engrossed in the file she was holding.

Perry leaned in again, "Do you like her?"

Zach, who was still distracted, nodded.

Perry gasped.

"Perry! Perry, where are you?"

Perry turned to see Cam and Angela looking frantically around the lab. She couldn't sit on this information any longer.

"Hey Cam! Zach just said he likes you!"

Angela started laughing while Cam had on a look Perry's mother got when she was doing something wrong.

"Perry, Zach has work to do, don't bother him!"

Zach turned at the sound of his name, "What?"

"You should ask her out," Perry hopped off the stool.

"PERRY!"

"Omigosh, this is beyond hilarious," Angela continued laughing.

* * *

Review. Perry demands it.


	36. the marilyn monroe movie

**Disclaimer:** Like OMG, so not! Like gag me! I totally don't own anything this cool! I so totally wish I did. Tha'd be so hot, right?

For anyone who doesn't know, the movie that made Marilyn Monroe's skirt blowing up famous is called The Seven Year Itch. It's about a man married for seven years, and his marriage has lost it's spark. When his wife and kids go to stay with some relatives for a while, and he has the house to himself, he starts to hang out with his hot upstairs neighbour (Marilyn). Also, JSYK, the scene caused Marilyn a lot of trouble in her personal life, as her huzzy Joe DeMaggio didn't like the way she was acting. I say all that to say this shot is based on the scene.

* * *

"Hurry!" Cam half ran, half power walked down the empty sidewalk. She glanced back at Zach who was struggling to keep up with her, carrying a large box.

"I'm going as fast as I..." his speech got cut off as he stumbled, clutching the box for dear life, "...can!"

"Zach Addy, if you drop that cake, I'm sending you back to Michigan in a match box!"

Zach had no time to contemplate how exactly she could possibly do that, as he veered left to avoid a flower stall.

"Perry will never forgive me if I'm late! Why did this have to..."

He was too far from her to hear the last part of her sentence, so he sought out the green dress she was wearing and jogged over to her.

"I mean I am her big sister. I'm supposed to be the first one there after her mom.

"Booth, Dr. Brennan, Hodgins, Angela and Sweets are already there," he informed her of what she already knew.

"What are you trying to do, make me feel worse?" she deadpanned, hopping over a subway grate. A gush of air from a passing subway passing under his feet ruffled the back of his shirt.

"At least her present got there before I did. I hope I don't get that little puppy pout from her when I get there. I can't take it. It makes me wanna cry. Her mother told me- whooo!"

Cam stopped abruptly, causing Zach to stop too, because he was walking right behind her. She was trying to clutch the hem of her dress, but the gust of air from the subway grate made it fly up and flail around like party streamers on an AC unit.

Zach realised his mouth was open and shut it quickly. But he couldn't stop his eyes from bugging out.

"Dammit! Shoot, shoot, shot!" Cam was fighting with her dress.

Then the train passed, the wind stopped blowing and Cam's dress dropped like a wet noodle.

She was blushing so bad, they could bake cookies on her back. She looked at Zach's bugged-out expression, and smiled painfully.

"Perry's party?"

"Huh?" Zach said.

She rolled her eyes, turning and walking down the street, "We have to get the cake to Perry's party, Zach. Let's go!"

* * *

Warning: Refusing to review this story will cause the winds to plague you anytime you're in a skirt or dress. If you're not into that kind of exibitionism, please press the big button below. Thank you.


	37. the sticky lips

This one's a shortie. It's good for a giggle, I think.

**Disclaimer:**

I'm just a fan

I really like this show

But I don't own it I just like to write… (Sang to the tune of 'I'm Just a Girl' by No Doubt)

* * *

"Hey, want one?"

Cam looked up to see a large cupcake in her face. On the top was a copious amount of pink icing.

"Do I look like I need diabetes?" she asked Angela, who was holding it out to her.

"Come on. I got them from this teenager who though I went to her school. She's running for class president. I couldn't just refuse them," she added when Cam glared at her, "She was chattering on and on about her platform. I just told her I'd vote for her and took off as fast as I could."

"I would tell you that was mean to lead her on, but she's stupid to think you still go to high school," Cam took the cupcake and bit into it, "Mmm, Sarah Lee."

"Thanks. You can only eat so many sugar death trap," Angela took off.

Cam took another bite of the cupcake, and licked the icing off her lips. Then she licked them again, because the icing made them feel sticky. Over and over she repeated the motion, till her lips felt less sticky.

All of a sudden she felt like she was being watched.

She looked over at Zach, who had his eyes trained on her, his mouth slightly open.

"What?" she asked him.

Zach cleared his throat, "Nothing."


	38. the flashof lightning

**I got the idea for this from a scene from Mean Girls. BTW, me and my mommy both love Tina Fey, though Mommy's love I know is more innocent than mine.**

**Disclaimer:** If I owned it, I'd hoard all the characters like Myra from Tiny Toon Adventures. "I'm gonna hug you and squeeze you and love you forever and ever..."

.........................................

"Shoot!" Cam exclaimed as she drove towards the Jeffersonian, "Where did this rain come from?"

"The clouds have become saturated with moisture and..."

Cam glared at Zach, "No. Just don't. Please."

"You asked," he mumbled.

Cam smiled, as she turned into the Jeffersonian parking lot.

"We need to get the evidence from the car to the building without compromising them," she said more to herself than Zach.

"That won't be difficult. The evidence are in sealed bags, and inside a box."

"Yeah, but we are gonna get soaked. I don't have an umbrella." Cam sighed.

Cam steeled her self, "Okay, think back. Second grade. Rain is fun. Splashing around in the rain...okay I'm ready" Cam opened the door and grabbed the box off the back seat. She hopped out of the car.

"Was that a coping strategy?" Zach asked.

"Get your ass out of the car and get to work, Zach," Cam said before she closed he door and ran off with the box.

Zach watched his boss run through the rain, her clothes and hair getting steadily wetter. She was veering left and right, as opposed to running in a straight line, which Zach realized was not the best way to avoid getting wet. She jumped in fright when a bolt of lightning seemed to touch down near her foot. His jaw slackened. Another bolt lit up the sky and he heard her shout in surprise.

"Dr. Saroyan!" Zach opened the door and ran out into the rain after her though there was really nothing he could do for her at this point. He heard the thunder over his head as he ran.

She turned when she reached the building and laughed at him, "Oh, look it's Speedy Gonzales."

"Who?" he asked as he stopped beside her.

She giggled, "Hold this. I'm soaked."

He caught the box as she chucked it at him, then took the hem of her grey sweater and yanked it up.

"Uh..." was all Zach could say. Her sky blue blouse that was underneath had clung to her sweater, lifting to reveal a forest green bra.

Cam felt breeze pass over her belly.

"My blouse is clinging to my sweater, isn't it?" she asked.

"It is," Zach told her.

She pulled down her blouse, her face getting hot, "Okay, let's try that again."

**Review! Please?**


	39. the morning after

1**Disclaimer:** If I did, oh man would this show be awkward! You'd get one every episode, at least! Then maybe you wouldn't watch, cuz it's supposed to be serious doctors and law enforcement agents, not grown folks acting like teenagers.

Cam opened one eye then the next. She stared up at the ceiling and was surprised to see that it wasn't the polished wood that she was used to but concrete.

Where was she?

And what was that weight putting slight pressure on her chest?

She struggled to get up and the thing across her pulled her back down. That was when she realized it was an arm, and unlike the nightmare she had a few nights ago after a victim's arm fell off her examination table, this one was attached to a body.

She looked over and gasped as she saw a head of familiar short brown hair.

Okay what the hell was going on?

It came back to her in a flood. The case had taken them all to Miami and this was definitely her room. Zach was supposed to be in the room next to hers...what was he doing here?

Her phone rang and she stretched out for it, Zach's arm still pinning her down.

"Hello."

"Cam, which room is yours again?"

It was Angela and she sounded nervous.

"Um...512," Cam glanced over at Zach as he pulled her to him. This was a bit awkward. No, this was very, _very_ awkward.

"Um, oops. Is Zach in there?"

"Why?" Cam asked her, guessing this had something to do with the fact that Zach was now treating her like his sleepy time teddy bear.

"I think I got the rooms mixed up last night. Zach couldn't find his little swipe thingy and so we called the guy at the front desk to open it, but Zach was so drunk and didn't remember his room number, so I told the guy to open your room by mistake."

Cam sighed, "Oh, that explains so much."

"Is he up?" Angela asked.

"Nope," Cam tried to wiggle out of Zach's hold but the attempt was futile.

"Can you just leave him a bit? We kind of pressured him into drinking a bit much last night."

Cam sighed. That was easy to say if you weren't in the room.

"Well, I'll try not to wake him," she said with sarcasm, "Bye."

She hung up, shook her head and pushed Zach's arm off of her. The movement woke him and he turned, sitting up.

"Ow, my head," Zach grabbed his temple.

"You're hung over," Cam supplied.

Zach yelped in shock, jumping in fright so badly he toppled headfirst off her bed. Cam crawled on her hands and knees quickly over to his side of the bed and looked over the edge.

"You alright?" she asked concerned.

Zach sat up and looked at her, seeming to be having a debate with himself as to whether she was real or not.

"What are you doing in my room?" he asked.

"Actually, you're in my room, Zacheroni. Angela put you in here last night by mistake. How's your head?"

Zach rubbed the part of his anatomy in question and looked at her. Suddenly he poked her arm.

"What was that for?" Cam asked.

"I was just making sure you weren't a figment of my imagination," he answered.

"Why would I be?" she gave him a confused smile, "I'm sure if I was a figment of your imagination, I would be Shakira or Charlize Theron or Halle Berry...not your boss," she adjusted her pyjama top, which was hanging off her shoulder, "Once again I ask, how's the head?"

"Painful," he answered.

Cam nodded, "I'll get you some water and I'm sure if I dig around in my bag I'll find some Aleve."

Hopping off the bed, Cam stepped over him, eyeing the blue jeans he was wearing. He must have been so drunk, he just fell into the bed beside her without even taking note of his surroundings. Or, thank goodness, undressing. Trying not to think of how much more awkward this morning would be had that happened, she crossed the room.

Grabbing her bag off the vanity, she rumbled through it and took out the pain medication. She tossed it to him and went to get him a bottle of water.

"I didn't see you," he said to her, and Cam stood upright quickly, knowing that if he had turned around to look at her, all he would see was her butt in the air. She walked over to where he still sat on the floor and handed him the water.

"That's obvious. I'm sure you wouldn't have gotten into the bed if you saw me, or anybody else for that matter, lying there. Or would you have thrown your hand over me like I was your Raggedy Anne doll."

Zach winced, "What?"

"You're right, you are deceptively strong," Cam conceded, "I tried to get up, you pushed me back down. I tried to wiggle out of your grasp, you hold me in a death grip. Couldn't get you off me, really."

"I apologize. Apparently in sleep, I hold things" Zach drank the water she gave him.

"Yeah you do. Come on, you need to get next door. Hopefully, Angela's found your key,"

"Uh...Dr. Saroyan?"

"Hm?" she was looking around for her slippers.

"I didn't unintentionally touch you inappropriately, did I?"

Cam looked at him. Well she sure as hell hoped not!

"Did you?" she countered.

"I don't know. I was asleep."

"Well, no, you didn't. Not as far as I know anyway. Zach get off the floor. We need to get started on the crime scene this morning. I can just bet Dr. Brennan's already down there."

She held out a hand to help him off the floor. But he got up faster than she anticipated and it sent her off balance, falling back on the bed. Their hands were still joined, so Zach toppled on top of her.

"Ow!" she cried as his weight crushed her into the mattress, "Zach..."

There was a pause when they stared at each other. The awkwardness of the morning rose to unprecedented levels.

"Zach, get off of me." she told him.

He complied, scratching his head in an embarrassed sort of way. She straightened her pyjamas for no reason.

"So, you were leaving?"

"Yes."

"Bye then."

"Bye."

He left without a backward glance.


	40. the mutant wasp

1**Disclaimer:** _Bones_ is not sci-fi. This is wrong.

Jack popped his head into Cam's office, "Got antihistamine?"

"Why?" she asked.

To answer, Jack pulled Zach into the room by the arm. His shoulders were hunched up and he was wincing badly.

Cam sighed, dropping the papers she was reading, "What happened?"

"Just a little accident," Jack dismissed her worry. Zach held his shoulder awkwardly.

"The wasp escaped," he told her.

"WHAT!" Cam got up. The wasp they were talking about had been found in an experiment lab belonging to Dr. Ben Fox, an entomologist by profession. Among other bizarre features, the wasp was bright magenta and had a wingspan double that of a regular wasp.

"Don't worry. We caught him. It's just that Zach got caught in the crossfire." Jack reassured her.

Cam was already searching for the Benadryl from her desk, "I can't believe you two. I told you to keep that thing in it's cage at all times! _No touching! _And look what you let happen!"

"I had nothing to do with it," Zach said, confused as Cam angrily started popping the buttons on his shirt open.

"I had a feeling. Jack is the one who can't control himself when it comes to anything that has a thorax, turn around. Zach. Jack, you need to..."

She stopped.

Her hand was poised right over the red spot on Zach's back, but her mind was somewhere else entirely. Like his shoulders, and the pattern of freckles on them. Her eyes moved down his back. He had a nice back, she decided. She looked up at the soft hair curling at the base of his neck. She looked at his arms, and the slight muscles that played over them.

She shook out of it when Zach cleared his throat.

"Here," she rubbed the Benadryl on Zach's back with the tips of her fingers, "Now you two just go do your job and read Dr. Fox's notes."

"That is what started everything," Zach complained, "Is fever a side effect of wasp stings?"

"No," said Jack.

"I feel a little..." he didn't get any further. His eyes rolled into his head and slumped to the ground in a faint.

"You see what you did!" Cam shouted at Jack, "We have no idea what this wasp is and you let it sting Zach! He could have really deadly symptoms and we have no idea what to do!"

"Were you just checking him out?" Jack asked.

"NO!" Cam shouted in her defense, "Go call and ambulance!"

**Awww... it's like a mom and her kids! Now review, or now ice-cream after dinner.**


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